<$BlogRSDUrl$>

Friday, December 28, 2007

Top 10 Most Awesome Movies of 2007

Notice that doesn't say "Best Movies of 2007". That's because I have really bizarre taste in flicks. In fact, my number one choice will delight a handful of you, and probably violently enrage the rest. These AREN'T the best flicks of 2007; well, not ALL of them. But the most awesome? you bet your sweet bippy.


10. WE ARE THE STRANGE
This wasn't really shown in too many theaters; only at Sundance and at personal engagements with the Director. But Christ, what a mind-bendingly freaky flick! Combining stop-motion animation, computer animation, 8-bit video game graphics and some anime; this one dude (whose stage name is M dot Strange...yeah, I know how pretentious that sounds. Just, get past that) spent 3 years locked in his bedroom with a bunch of computers and old dismembered action figures single-handedly creating one of the most stunning, unique-looking movies I've ever seen. Trust me on this one; you won't see anything else like this in your life. The whole thing has a seriously creepy vibe, even though the storyline (and very much the ending as well) is done in the anime-style. Good vs. Evil, giant killer robots, the whole nine yards. He actually had the whole thing up on youtube awhile ago, not sure if it's still there ( I shelled out for the DVD) but I highly suggest you check it out at least once.


09. RATATOUILLE
Pixar keeps topping themselves with every film. Seriously, it's getting fucking scary how good these movies are getting. At this rate, Wall-E might might change our whole notion of animation as we know it. With all the other computer-generated garbage being flung into the theaters, it just makes Pixar's films seem that much better. This film, for instance, stars Patton Oswalt (so it already had a spot on this list before I even saw it) as a rat who loves to cook, and proves himself to be the worlds's greatest chef in a world full of humans. Sounds like a pretty boring script, I know, but it ended up being one of the best reviewed movies in recent history and one of the best animated movies I've ever seen. Seriously, tons of character development, plot, depth...it's amazing.


08. BLACK SNAKE MOAN
This one got missed or outright ignored by a lot of people, but I think it's one of Samuel L. Jackon's best performances to date. He finds a beaten, abused nymphomaniac passed out on the side of the road, and attempts to cure her and save her soul by chaining her to his radiator and teaching her about the blues. That's the movie, but the music is SO good, and the performances of the actors are SO on point, you don't even mind that you're watching a flick with Justin Timberlake in it.


07. THE SIMPSONS MOVIE
Let's face it, most of the good reviews are comparing it to the shitty, shitty seasons the TV show has had for the past 4 or 5 years. But still, after a decade of waiting, we finally ge the payoff for our patience, and it turns out to be a really funny flick. Continuing the series' running gags of poking fun at Fox, religion and pop culture, and generally being a smarmy bastard, the full length movie feels like more than just 3 episodes strung together, it feels like a cohesive work of really goddamn funny art.


06. THE HOST (GWOEMUL)
Great movies have been coming out of Korea for years, but this one just might take the cake. The Host is one of the most fantastic-looking monster movies I've seen since Jaws. The opening attack on the beach is beautiful and gruesome at the same time. Three generations of a poor Korean family are affected when a monster created by American pollution runs amuk, capturing and eating innocent bystanders before diving back into the river; and then the hunt begins, despite the government's constant interference. It's hysterical, heart-breaking, scary and moving all at the same time. Highly suggested if you're in a sci-fi monstery-type of mood.


05. PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD'S END
Fuck everyone, this is one of my favorite movie trilogies ever. Sometimes, you just want a really fun movie to watch, and I find that movies like these work best with a nice big enthusiastic theater full of fans. This was the perfect ending to every story arc in the first 2 movies (despite how surreal it got in this installment....and surreal is a GROSS understatement) and was chock full of piratey action and excitement. Swashbuckling, magic, sword-fighting, giant ship battles, incredible growing Jamaicans, cannons, plot twist after unbelievable plot twist, fucking tentacle monsters...AWESOME. Every word out of Barbossa's mouth is GOLD. Fuck, I love this movie.


04. HOT FUZZ
If these guys were more prolific, they'd be the British equivilent of Judd Apatow. So far they're two for two (plus their TV shows are all hysterical, albeit short-lived) and, in my opinion, can do no wrong. In this movie, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost turn their Shaun of the Dead-eye for parody on hard-boiled action flicks, and the payoff is fantastic. After using half the movie to squash all the buddy-cop action movie cliches, they play into every stereotype in hilarious fashion, making the wanton, unnecessary violence work on a whole other level. Plus, there's that swan.




3. (tie) KNOCKED UP & SUPERBAD
I just couldn't decide between the two. Seriously, two of the funniest films to come out in about a decade. There is no hyperbole in that statement. I don't even know what to say, just see these movies if you haven't already; and if you have, see them again. Fantastic. Knocked Up is everything a mid-20's growing up sex comedy is supposed to be, and Superbad is everything a high school, coming-of-age sex comedy is supposed to be. Very prominent, memorable characters, infinitely quotable lines, moments of sincere tenderness surrounded by the filthiest cock jokes you can think of. If nothing else, these movies prove that Seth Rogen needs to be in more movies, and SOON. Also, McLovin is the much, much funnier version of Napoleon Dynamite.



02. NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN
Wow. No other movie this year stuck in my mind more afterwards than this. I watched this the second weekend it was out (when it was only playing in 2 theaters in the state of Connecticut) with a theater full of people who were seemingly oblivious as to what they were about to witness. The very stark ending after a heart-rendingly somber monologue left the audience quite confused (some were quite upset) and, I'll admit, I didn't get it at first. But that ending stuck in my head for weeks, and I've analyzed everything I can remember every which way. After a movie featuring a lot of vivid imagery, beautiful landscapes, and jarring, violent action, for a simple, softly-spoken monologue to stick in my memory is a testament to the script, the directors, the actors and everyone involved....this was a moving film, both physically and mentally. One of the best movie-going experiences of my life; I've just been waiting for the opportunity to see it again. Can't recommend this highly enough. "Where'd you get that pistol?" "At the gettin' place." Sublime.

In every respect, No Country For Old Men should be the number one movie on my list and, indeed, is the "Best" Movie of 2007, but there is one that I just can't ignore, one that gave me the filmgoing experience of a lifetime. Ladies and Gentlemen (hell, let's face it: Bums, Bastards, and Other Bums), the Most Awesome Movie of 2007:


01. GRINDHOUSE
Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarentino found a way to distill awesomeness into it's purest form, and poured it onto film stock to create the coolest goddamn flick of the year. Film burning out, blaring rock music, extreme jarring violence, awesome dialogue, fantastic fatally-flawed characters, the projectionist stopping the movie and turning up the house lights at various intervals, the audience screaming with every headshot, laughing out loud with every joke, quip and gag, reacting to everything onscreen with shock, horror or wide-eyed amazement, the crazy trailers, MACHETE!, machine-gun legs, a jar full of testicles, Kurt Russell being the most untouchable badass in film history for about 2 hours before degenerating into a snivelling pussy, hot chicks, fast cars, smoking guns, lap dances, the most epic car chase I've ever seen in my life, sex drugs and rock 'n' roll!!!! Everything an awesome movie should be. Nothing else comes close.



Special Award For Most Badass Flick: Out of Contention For This List


LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD
It's motherfuckin' Bruce Willis in a DIE HARD movie! He blows up a helicopter by driving a CAR INTO IT. He outruns an F-1 fighter jet with a tractor-trailer. He flies another helicopter without ever having flown anything before in his life! If I included it on this list, it would take up the first 5 spots, and then glance menacingly at the other 5 flicks on the list with steely blue eyes and scare them away, leaving numbers 6-10 blank. And I wanted a full list of 10, so that's why Live Free or Die Hard is here.

When there is a choice between movies starring Bruce Willis and movies not starring Bruce Willis, the former always wins.

"I was out of bullets." FUCK YEAH!

|

Monday, December 24, 2007

A Charlie Brown Kwanzaa

Still working on them thar lists, watch this to tide you over. So offensive, and SO hilarious.



TOTALLY not safe for work.

|

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Charts Forthcoming!

With the semester finally over and the Christmas rush starting to die down, I've finally been able to focus my attentions on getting my year-end lists ready for your viewing editorial pleasure. There will be no Random this weekend, as I've been using that time to type up everything music related that I've been meaning to start for the past month and never had a chance to. Trust me; this year's gonna be good. I've found out that there's been far too much quality music released this year, and whittling my list down to 20 has been rough, but I'm almost there. Patience, dear reader! Your waiting shall be rewarded, pinky swear!

|

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Saturday Random 10 (but really 20) XXVII: Almost There...

Another missed week here at Evil Thoughts, to which I truly apolog....no, you know what? Fuck that noise! I'm working my ass off at FedEx 6 days a week (and getting paid for 5) during our busiest Christmas season ever, trying to get all my final projects done for school, and trying to get an adequate amount of sleep so that I don't turn into some crazy demon with a death wish and no social filter whatsoever. So no, no apologies to you, dear reader: I'm tired as shit and you'll get updates when I'm GOOD AND GODDAMN READY!

That being said, here's what I've been up to, besides nose-to-the-grindstone-type stuff and writing about Bhopal India. Still reading through Finnegan's Wake, and I can *almost* see a storyline peeking through all the amazingly intricate prose, but Joyce does NOT wake it easy. Another example? Here you go:

"O Foenix culprit! Ex nickylow malo comes mickelmassed bonum. Hill, rill, ones in company, billeted, less be proud of. Breast high and bestride! Only for that these will not breathe upon Norronesen or Irenean the secrest of thier soorcelossness. Quarry silex, Homfrie Noanswa!"

See? Completely straightforward, isn't it?

Other than the book, I've taken whatever free time I have and have given it almost completely to season 3 of Lost. See, I don't ever watch TV; working 3rd shift kinda eliminates being up on the latest social trends and such. So I basically only catch up on cool-ass TV shows when they're released on DVD (or when my computer-savvy friends find them...*nudgenudge* *winkwink*) Let me just say, speaking as someone who's almost a year behind on this show...AWE-SOME. Everythig's just so goddamn intricate and interwoven....fuckin' FANTASTIC. This is seriously the greatest TV show I've ever watched....it is epic.

Also, Claire was really, really hot in her goth phase back home when she was in the car accident. Wow.

Lately, I've been on a huge Stephen Lynch kick; literally listening to every track available that he's recorded. Haven't heard of him, or anything he's done? Abraca-YOUTUBE!

Hooray! A Random is you!

1. Ol' Dirty Bastard - You Don't Want To Fuck With Me
2. Johnny Cash - Hurt
3. Def Leppard - Rock of Ages
4. Clutch - Pulaski Highway
5. Cowboy Bebop OST - Farewell Blues
6. Deftones - Pink Maggit
7. Between the Buried and Me - Us and Them
8. The Smashing Pumpkins - Daphne Descends
9. Korn - Faget
10. Beastie Boys - To All the Girls
11. Love Of Diagrams - The Pace Or the Patience
12. The Runaways - Cherry Bomb
13. Al Green - I'm Still In Love With You
14. Blur - Girls & Boys
15. Dragonforce - Prepare For War
16. Filter - The Only Way Is the Wrong Way
17. Virt - Bedtime Story
18. Gnarls Barkley - Who Cares?
19. Butthole Surfers - Edgar
20. Metallica - Seek & Destroy

You know, just when I think iTunes can't possibly surprise me anymore, it throws me a curveball. Going from ODB to Johnny Cash to Def Leppard is seriously the most random, jarring sequence of songs I've ever seen come up. Three artists that are complete polar opposites of one another, that's what this Random is all about. After that awesome opening you go straight to the hardest-rockin' band in America, Clutch, with a track off thier most blues-oriented album to date. Segue into some sweet free jazz from the greatest anime series ever (take THAT, Neon Genesis Evangelion!). Followed by a selection from Deftones' masterpiece White Pony, and then a shockingly faithful Pink Floyd cover by a prog/death metal band with an incredible amount of talent. A nice, gothy Smashing Pumpkins track follows up, along with Korn's most popular song amongst thier fans, a short but sweet Beastie Boys track, and a quite obscure band off Matador Records. Some classic punk comes next, then the smoothest motherfucker on the planet, Al Green. Some really cool 90's Britpop (and actually, one of Blur's better tracks) and then, fuckin' DRAGONFORCE!; the single fastest band I have ever heard in my life. a track off Filter's worst album, some bizarre 8-bit techno and Gnarls Barkley up next, along with the crazy psychedelic drug-haze from early Butthole Surfers and then, ending with the most badass track off Metallica's very first album. This Random, just for the first three selections alone, gets a solid A. The rest is just icing on the proverbial cake.

|

Monday, December 03, 2007

Saturday (Monday) Random 10 (but really 20) XXVI: It's so cold, my processor is running at peak efficiency!

What a crazy crazy weekend. Pizza, wings, beer, scotch, cigars, good friends, good times and Rock Band. Just awesome! And, on top of that, I got a bottle of Patron as a gift (which, as it turns out, was the drink involved in my first ever alcohol-induced blackout), along wth the Futurama movie and James Joyce's "Finnegan's Wake" earlier in the week. The Futurama movie, Bender's Big Score, is a laugh-out-loud riot. So MANY quotable lines! I can't WAIT for the next 3 movies to be released.

But about Finnegan's Wake; it is, without a doubt, the single most bizarre thing I've ever attempted to read...even moreso than Mark Danielewski's "House of Leaves". Written over the span of 17 years by acclaimed, constantly drunk Irish novelist James Joyce, it consists of over 60 languages and spans the entirety of Ireland's history, describing, in relation to dreams and the night, the mythical creation of the island. But that's just one interpretation; in fact, people have been arguing since it's publication whether the book itself is about ANYTHING or if it is, in fact, readable. Here I will present to you the first page of the first chapter of the first book of Finnegan's Wake. Keep in mind, this is over 600 pages long. Oh yeah, and the entire book starts in the middle of a sentence:

riverrun, past Eve and Adam's, from swerve of shore to bend 1
of bay, brings us by a commodius vicus of recirculation back to2
Howth Castle and Environs.3
Sir Tristram, violer d'amores, fr'over the short sea, had passen- 4
core rearrived from North Armorica on this side the scraggy5
isthmus of Europe Minor to wielderfight his penisolate war: nor6
had topsawyer's rocks by the stream Oconee exaggerated themselse7
to Laurens County's gorgios while they went doublin their mumper8
all the time: nor avoice from afire bellowsed mishe mishe to9
tauftauf thuartpeatrick: not yet, though venissoon after, had a10
kidscad buttended a bland old isaac: not yet, though all's fair in11
vanessy, were sosie sesthers wroth with twone nathandjoe. Rot a12
peck of pa's malt had Jhem or Shen brewed by arclight and rory13
end to the regginbrow was to be seen ringsome on the aquaface.14
The fall (bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonner- 15
ronntuonnthunntrovarrhounawnskawntoohoohoordenenthur-16
nuk!) of a once wallstrait oldparr is retaled early in bed and later17
on life down through all christian minstrelsy. The great fall of the18
offwall entailed at such short notice the pftjschute of Finnegan,19
erse solid man, that the humptyhillhead of humself prumptly sends20
an unquiring one well to the west in quest of his tumptytumtoes:21
and their upturnpikepointandplace is at the knock out in the park22
where oranges have been laid to rust upon the green since dev-23
linsfirst loved livvy.

It is absolutely INSANE, and I love it.

Anyways, yeah. This Random is coming late because I got out of work late on Saturday, then drove up to Albany fo' thea Par-TAY. Didn't get home until later Sunday evening, then had to go in to work at 11PM. Lots of goddamn fun.....Christ I hate December.

Fuck yo' Random, foo'!

1. Beck - One of These Days
2. Orange 9mm - Cold Snow
3. Bjork - Sonnet/Unrealities IX
4. Damien "Jr. Gong" Marley - Hey Girl
5. Portishead - Sour Times
6. Ozomatli - Vocal Artillery
7. The Beatles - Slow Down
8. Rise Against - Swing Life Away
9. Ghostface Killah - I Hear Voices
10. Stone Temple Pilots - Daisy
11. Blur - On Your Own
12. The Langley Schools Music Project - God Only Knows (Beach Boys)
13. Datsuns - Harmonic Generator
14. The White Stripes - The Air Near My Fingers
15. Weezer - Say It Ain't So
16. Tenacious D - Wonderboy
17. Herb Alpert & the Tijuana Brass - Whipped Cream
18. Fear Before the March of Flames - Dog-Sized Bird
19. Live - Waitress
20. The Clash - Clampdown


Pretty sweet Random this week; pretty sweet indeed. Starting with a B-side from Beck's Mutations album, then into a song by the most overlooked band in industrial music, Orange 9mm (this song is from an EP, but I highly suggest checking out thier album Driver Not Included). Following up with some weirdness by Bjork and the awesome Damian Marley (who is as prominent in Jamaica as his father was; no hyperbole) playing around with a vocoder, then going into the laid back trip-hop of Portishead and the latin R&B funk of Vocal Artillery by Ozomatli (who I only started listening to because they toured with Rage Against the Machine. Ozomatli is very, VERY different from Rage). Some old school Beatles pops up next, then a sing-along acoustic summer anthem from a band more known for thier scathing political tirades, Rise Against. Ghostface lays down a solo Wu-Banga, a track from STP's most heroin-induced record (and thier second-best; nothing they ever released could top Purple), a decent outing by Blur (off the only full length from them I actually bought...I pirated everything else), then into one of the indie records du jour of 2001, school children singing the greatest hits of the 70's. Here, The Beach Boys' "God Only Knows", which comes out fantastically. A nu garage also-ran, The Datsuns, rock mediocrally and lead into The White Stripes, who rock HARD. Then you get Weezer's second-best single ever (Undone is untouchable), THE FUCKIN' D!, then some smooth 70's lounge/jazz before going into the obtuse and hard-to-pin-down Dog-Sized Bird (is it metal? post-punk? art school faggotry?) Then a surprisingly loud track by Live (what the hell HAPPENED to them? They got famous and then all thier subsequent albums became more and more unlistenable.) before ending on a high note with The Clash. Not too many weak tracks at all...but not enough spectacular rockin' to warrant a high grade...I'll give it a B-. Better luck next time, Random!

|

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?