Sunday, December 25, 2005
Back From The Dead, Like a Crazed Holiday Zombie!
Indeed, it HAS been more than 2 months, but I finally have both obtained a computer and found enough time to post in my long-stagnant blog. Perhaps next week I shall verbalize my hideous first Christmas season with FedEx Ground. However, far be it for me to ruin a cheery and fantastic holiday for eberyone, so I will make my quiet and totally unexpected return with a festive holiday Top 10:
Random Meaningless Top Ten List, Volume VIII: Journey Of the Cursed Evil Brian
Top Ten Non-Traditional Songs On My Christmas Playlist
10. eels - Everything's Gonna Be Cool This Christmas: After listening to E lament his dead family members and downtrodden life, it's refreshingly odd to hear him be so cheery and optimistic about Christmastime. As cool as a snowstorm.
9. Grandaddy - Alan Parsons In a Winter Wonderland: This is the song that made my boss say "You are the most fucked up person I've ever met." A tribute/parody/mockery to Alan Parsons set to the tune of Walkin' In a Winter Wonderland.
8. Fountains Of Wayne - I Want an Alien For Christmas: This was one of the first singles I ever bought, and I still listen to it every year. Every kid can relate to wanting an alien for Christmas. I always wanted an alien anyways...or He-Man.
7. The White Stripes - Candy Cane Children: Very rare track, very cool. Distortion galore and lyrics about a candy cane girl. Hmmmmm...who could that be?
6. Weezer - The Christmas Song: What's that? An original Weezer christmas carol that ANYONE could sing along to?? AWESOME!!!
5. AC/DC - Mistress For Christmas: Sounds like every other AC/DC song? Of course. But it's about CHRISTMAS. Fuck yeah!
4. Smashing Pumpkins - Christmastime: So light and airy, it gets played in department stores during this season. Still one of the finest pure christmas songs ever written. God DAMN I love the Smashing Pumpkins.
3. Tom Waits - Christmas Sucks: Definitely describes my feeling about the season this year. The average person doesn't get nearly enough Tom Waits in thier musical diet.
2. Run DMC - Christmas In Hollis: Mom's cookin' chicken and collard greens! Rice and stuffin', macaroni and cheese! And Santa puts gifts under CHRISTMAS TREES!
1. King Diamond - No Presents For Christmas: The single most badass/hilarious Christmas song EVER; plus I dare you to find one with a better guitar solo. There's just something about a guy dressed in black leather with upside-down crosses painted on his face repeating the lines "Tom and Jerry/Drinking sherry!" that warms my evil little heart. "SANTA NEEDS A HELPING HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
I wish everyone out there in teh Internets a very Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, a Kwazy Kwanzaa, and a silent and dignified Ramadan.
I'm back, bitches!!!
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Indeed, it HAS been more than 2 months, but I finally have both obtained a computer and found enough time to post in my long-stagnant blog. Perhaps next week I shall verbalize my hideous first Christmas season with FedEx Ground. However, far be it for me to ruin a cheery and fantastic holiday for eberyone, so I will make my quiet and totally unexpected return with a festive holiday Top 10:
Random Meaningless Top Ten List, Volume VIII: Journey Of the Cursed Evil Brian
Top Ten Non-Traditional Songs On My Christmas Playlist
10. eels - Everything's Gonna Be Cool This Christmas: After listening to E lament his dead family members and downtrodden life, it's refreshingly odd to hear him be so cheery and optimistic about Christmastime. As cool as a snowstorm.
9. Grandaddy - Alan Parsons In a Winter Wonderland: This is the song that made my boss say "You are the most fucked up person I've ever met." A tribute/parody/mockery to Alan Parsons set to the tune of Walkin' In a Winter Wonderland.
8. Fountains Of Wayne - I Want an Alien For Christmas: This was one of the first singles I ever bought, and I still listen to it every year. Every kid can relate to wanting an alien for Christmas. I always wanted an alien anyways...or He-Man.
7. The White Stripes - Candy Cane Children: Very rare track, very cool. Distortion galore and lyrics about a candy cane girl. Hmmmmm...who could that be?
6. Weezer - The Christmas Song: What's that? An original Weezer christmas carol that ANYONE could sing along to?? AWESOME!!!
5. AC/DC - Mistress For Christmas: Sounds like every other AC/DC song? Of course. But it's about CHRISTMAS. Fuck yeah!
4. Smashing Pumpkins - Christmastime: So light and airy, it gets played in department stores during this season. Still one of the finest pure christmas songs ever written. God DAMN I love the Smashing Pumpkins.
3. Tom Waits - Christmas Sucks: Definitely describes my feeling about the season this year. The average person doesn't get nearly enough Tom Waits in thier musical diet.
2. Run DMC - Christmas In Hollis: Mom's cookin' chicken and collard greens! Rice and stuffin', macaroni and cheese! And Santa puts gifts under CHRISTMAS TREES!
1. King Diamond - No Presents For Christmas: The single most badass/hilarious Christmas song EVER; plus I dare you to find one with a better guitar solo. There's just something about a guy dressed in black leather with upside-down crosses painted on his face repeating the lines "Tom and Jerry/Drinking sherry!" that warms my evil little heart. "SANTA NEEDS A HELPING HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
I wish everyone out there in teh Internets a very Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, a Kwazy Kwanzaa, and a silent and dignified Ramadan.
I'm back, bitches!!!
