Friday, June 10, 2005
Random Meaningless Top 10 List, Volume 3
I truly do apologize for the lack of updates on the blog, but I've been getting used to my new job which, unfortunately, has me working upwards of 50 hours a week, making me tired as shit. Anyways, for this week's Top 10, I was insired by my local "Classic Rock that REALLY rocks!" station, WPLR 99.1. It's absolute shit, and they play the same 25-30 songs ALL THE FUCK DAY (and it's the only decent radio station that comes in in our giant warehouse). So, here you go:
10. THE ROLLING STONES - BEAST OF BURDEN; That's right, I said it.
9. STEVE MILLER BAND - THE JOKER; Okay. I get it. "Woooo, I'm a midnight toker! Hooray for pot!" Retarded fucking lyrics, and that *Woop Whaaaaaaaah* after the "some people call me Maurice" is the worst thing to happen to rock music since white people.
8. THE DOORS - TOUCH ME; The Doors have put out some artsy, weird shit (seriously, Peace Frog?? WTF is a peace frog?!?), but I swear to God the first time I heard this song on the radio I thought it was some Neil Diamond/lounge singer shit.
7. ELECTRIC LIGHT ORCHESTRA - DON'T BRING ME DOWN; Lame-fucking-ass. Dude, they did the soundtrack to fucking Xanadu! You don't rebound from that, especially when your music sounds like a pussy stuffed with daffodils.
6. PAUL MCCARTNEY - BLUEBIRD; Leaving The Beatles was the beginning of the end for Paul McCartney putting out halfway decent music. Sure, Live and Let Die was cool, but mostly because Guns N' Roses made it kick ass.
5. THE KINKS - LOLA; The Kinks are an awesome band, but this song is just SO fucking bad. It would be higher, except that I can sing Weird Al's "Yoda" over it, and it makes the experience somewhat more pleasant.
4. STYX - THE GRAND ILLUSION; The lamest band in the world, whose only real success was putting out the most hilariously bad song in 2 decades. Seriously, who DOESN'T love to scream the lyrics to Mr. Roboto? It's a road trip staple in my car.
3. JIMMY BUFFET - MARGARITAVILLE; The only reason he still has a career is because of spoiled baby boomer motherfuckers. Parrotheads can go suck a dick; Buffet sucked 30 years ago, he sucks now.
2. MEAT LOAF - PARADISE BY THE DASHBOARD LIGHT; Every drama geek I've ever met in my entire life loves this song, and every single wrap party I've been to they play it and everyone goes apeshit. As much as I love my drama geek homies, Meat Loaf is just awful, and this is the worst example of his awfulness. I still don't understand how the fuck this guy got popular.
1. EAGLES - HOTEL CALIFORNIA; Fuck the Eagles, man. Fuck 'em. The solo at the end is the only noteworthy part of the entire song, and even that doesn't make up for the immense aural shit that precedes it.
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I truly do apologize for the lack of updates on the blog, but I've been getting used to my new job which, unfortunately, has me working upwards of 50 hours a week, making me tired as shit. Anyways, for this week's Top 10, I was insired by my local "Classic Rock that REALLY rocks!" station, WPLR 99.1. It's absolute shit, and they play the same 25-30 songs ALL THE FUCK DAY (and it's the only decent radio station that comes in in our giant warehouse). So, here you go:
Top 10 Classic Rock Staples That Absolutely Suck
10. THE ROLLING STONES - BEAST OF BURDEN; That's right, I said it.
9. STEVE MILLER BAND - THE JOKER; Okay. I get it. "Woooo, I'm a midnight toker! Hooray for pot!" Retarded fucking lyrics, and that *Woop Whaaaaaaaah* after the "some people call me Maurice" is the worst thing to happen to rock music since white people.
8. THE DOORS - TOUCH ME; The Doors have put out some artsy, weird shit (seriously, Peace Frog?? WTF is a peace frog?!?), but I swear to God the first time I heard this song on the radio I thought it was some Neil Diamond/lounge singer shit.
7. ELECTRIC LIGHT ORCHESTRA - DON'T BRING ME DOWN; Lame-fucking-ass. Dude, they did the soundtrack to fucking Xanadu! You don't rebound from that, especially when your music sounds like a pussy stuffed with daffodils.
6. PAUL MCCARTNEY - BLUEBIRD; Leaving The Beatles was the beginning of the end for Paul McCartney putting out halfway decent music. Sure, Live and Let Die was cool, but mostly because Guns N' Roses made it kick ass.
5. THE KINKS - LOLA; The Kinks are an awesome band, but this song is just SO fucking bad. It would be higher, except that I can sing Weird Al's "Yoda" over it, and it makes the experience somewhat more pleasant.
4. STYX - THE GRAND ILLUSION; The lamest band in the world, whose only real success was putting out the most hilariously bad song in 2 decades. Seriously, who DOESN'T love to scream the lyrics to Mr. Roboto? It's a road trip staple in my car.
3. JIMMY BUFFET - MARGARITAVILLE; The only reason he still has a career is because of spoiled baby boomer motherfuckers. Parrotheads can go suck a dick; Buffet sucked 30 years ago, he sucks now.
2. MEAT LOAF - PARADISE BY THE DASHBOARD LIGHT; Every drama geek I've ever met in my entire life loves this song, and every single wrap party I've been to they play it and everyone goes apeshit. As much as I love my drama geek homies, Meat Loaf is just awful, and this is the worst example of his awfulness. I still don't understand how the fuck this guy got popular.
1. EAGLES - HOTEL CALIFORNIA; Fuck the Eagles, man. Fuck 'em. The solo at the end is the only noteworthy part of the entire song, and even that doesn't make up for the immense aural shit that precedes it.
