Monday, January 24, 2005
Totally Geekin' Out
Alrighty, I just watched the trailer for the Fantastic Four movie, and I have a couple of gripes, as most of the movie nerd community does:
1. Isn't The Thing supposed to be, I dunno, about as big as The Hulk, not just with the build of an average sized bodybuilder? I mean, Arnold Schwarzenegger is bigger than The Thing is in this movie. And, along those same lines...
2. The Commish?? as Ben fucking Grimm? WHAT THE FUCK?
3. Speaking of casting woes, why Jessica Alba? As hot as she is, she just looks wrong and uncomfortable in the Invisible Woman suit.
4. The whole thing looks like they used less special effects than Spiderman and chintzed out on making it the best movie they could. I mean, when you have FOUR freaking superheroes, all of which require a ton of special effects to adequately pull off, you expect it to be pulled off as well as, if not BETTER than, a movie with ONE superhero in it.
5. Listen, I'm not against giving huge franchise movies to improbable directors. Spiderman went to the guy who did Evil fucking Dead. Lord of the Rings was directed by Peter Jackson, a man who only made disturbing, overly-gory Michael J. Fox movies; and now they've given him KING FUCKING KONG. BUT, when deciding which director to give a long-awaited and ferociously fan-based-oriented movie like Fantastic Four to, I can think of a bunch of people I would rather have at the helm than the director of such cinematic classics as Barbershop and Taxi.
6. Despite all this bullshit, I will most likely go see the fucking movie anyways.
And as always, Penny-Arcade has all the answers.
|
Alrighty, I just watched the trailer for the Fantastic Four movie, and I have a couple of gripes, as most of the movie nerd community does:
1. Isn't The Thing supposed to be, I dunno, about as big as The Hulk, not just with the build of an average sized bodybuilder? I mean, Arnold Schwarzenegger is bigger than The Thing is in this movie. And, along those same lines...
2. The Commish?? as Ben fucking Grimm? WHAT THE FUCK?
3. Speaking of casting woes, why Jessica Alba? As hot as she is, she just looks wrong and uncomfortable in the Invisible Woman suit.
4. The whole thing looks like they used less special effects than Spiderman and chintzed out on making it the best movie they could. I mean, when you have FOUR freaking superheroes, all of which require a ton of special effects to adequately pull off, you expect it to be pulled off as well as, if not BETTER than, a movie with ONE superhero in it.
5. Listen, I'm not against giving huge franchise movies to improbable directors. Spiderman went to the guy who did Evil fucking Dead. Lord of the Rings was directed by Peter Jackson, a man who only made disturbing, overly-gory Michael J. Fox movies; and now they've given him KING FUCKING KONG. BUT, when deciding which director to give a long-awaited and ferociously fan-based-oriented movie like Fantastic Four to, I can think of a bunch of people I would rather have at the helm than the director of such cinematic classics as Barbershop and Taxi.
6. Despite all this bullshit, I will most likely go see the fucking movie anyways.
And as always, Penny-Arcade has all the answers.
