Evil Brian's Evil Thoughts...it's a MotherFucker

For What Seems Like the 10 Millionth Time in 4 Years, Our Democracy is in Danger

This article should be required reading for ANYONE who is interested in the upcoming Presidential election. This is serious.

If there was ever an argument to keep some of the older-fashioned voting and have actual RECORDS and PAPER TRAILS of votes that can be recounted, this is most certainly it.

Coincidence? The Fuck You Say!

Here's an interesting chart, fellow ne'er-do-wells, showing George W. Bush's approval ratings throughout his presidency, and shown against a timeline of the various terror alerts. David Cross surrenders.



Oh, and I had to swear in the title. Otherwise, I would've had a political-themed post without any cuss words in it, and that would mean I'm taking politics FAR too seriously, and then blogging wouldn't be as much a fun past-time as it would be just needless, directionless venting.

Cocksucker.


EDIT: Sorry about the horrible-looking text in the chart, but I had to resize it so my blog wouldn't die. You get the general gist of it anyways, right?

Are there any balls down there?

About the biggest pair you ever seen, dingleberry!

This movie has the possibility of being more polarizing than Bush v. Kerry. It's either going to be mindblowingly cool, or it's gonna guzzle loads of ass-cock. (Ass means donkey, stupid!)

But I think we all know, if it isn't shot totally in black & white (or at least mostly in black & white), then it might not be worth watching. I still think all the Quick Stop scenes in Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back look odd in fully fleshed-out brilliant color.

It's already got bonus points for the title alone.

Even with all the sweet tender juices of irreverence dripping from the prospect of this project alone, you gotta feel kind of bad for poor Kevin Smith. He really wanted to get away from doing this kind of film and get into doing, you know, films that could be semi-mainstream, only to get struck down be America's seething and uncompromising hatred of BENNIFER. Now he's considering not even directing The Green Hornet, which is kind of a shame since I'd love to see how he handles a full-blown action movie.

Oh, and in case anyone out there forgot or hasn't heard yet:


9.7.2004

Just looking at it makes me wanna play the xylophone on a cow skeleton with a big femur and bust open some monkey skulls. It just emenates "gaze upon me with wonder, and slaughter goats to my magnificence", doesn't it?

And I'll probably even end up getting Jersey Girl as well, because it comes out on the same day and you KNOW Best Buy is gonna have some kind of freaky combo deal of some sort.

More Sweet-Ass Music News

From MTV:

Tom Morello, Serj Tankian Releasing Axis Of Justice CD/DVD
08.30.2004 7:58 AM EDT


Tom Morello at an Axis Of Justice event

"It just seemed like it was a really special, even historic, evening of musicians coming together for social change." — Tom Morello


Audioslave guitarist Tom Morello and System of a Down singer Serj Tankian were thinking the same thing midway through last month's benefit for their Axis of Justice political action group. "Maybe we should release this," Tankian recalled.

"As it was going on, it just seemed like it was a really special, even historic, evening of musicians coming together for social change, but in an artistic atmosphere that was pretty unprecedented," Morello said. "So we started discussing putting it out."

Those discussions have led to Axis of Justice Concert Series Volume 1, a CD/DVD set recorded and filmed by friends for free at the July 17 concert at the Avalon in Hollywood (see "Flea, Tool Singer Join Fight Against Hunger, Homelessness").

"Everyone did everything out of [the goodness of] their hearts, and that's what made it so special," Tankian said. "It wasn't a gig, it was more like friends that care about causes getting together and making music."

Axis of Justice will release the collection on November 2 — Election Day. "It's making a statement in saying that we need a more just America," Tankian said. "We have the biggest hearts in the world, but the people who represent us don't show that and instead foster hate against us."

Both the CD and DVD will include the memorable all-star collaborations from the show, including an encore of U2's "Where the Streets Have No Name" with Tankian and A Perfect Circle's Maynard James Keenan on vocals, Pete Yorn on guitar and vocals, Morello on guitar, the Red Hot Chili Peppers' Flea on bass, Audioslave's Brad Wilk on drums and Jonny Polonski on keyboards. That lineup, minus Keenan and Polonski and with Tankian on piano, also covers Bob Dylan's "Chimes of Freedom" and Funkadelic's "Alice in My Fantasies." An improvisational jam featuring Flea, Wilk and Tankian is also included.

The CD features Tankian's "Charades" and an improv piano number, two songs from Morello as the Nightwatchman ("Until the End" and "Union Song"), Pete Yorn's cover of Junior Kimbrough's "I Feel Good Again," two songs from Jurassic 5 ("What's Golden" and "Freedom"), and two spoken-word tracks from Knowledge: the self-explanatory "President Evil" and "Speak on It," about the Armenian genocide and featuring Tankian on piano.

As a bonus, the CD will include a cover of Nick Lowe's "(What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace, Love and Understanding" performed by Chris Cornell and Keenan at last summer's Lollapalooza.

The DVD will include most of the same tracks, along with the Nightwatchman's "The Road I Must Travel" with Tankian on piano, Yorn on guitar, Polonski on bass and Wilk on drums, and Yorn's "Strange Condition" and "Broken Bottle."

Bonuses on the DVD will include excerpts from Morello and Tankian's Axis of Justice radio show, such as interviews with Michael Moore and Janeane Garofalo, as well as four songs from an early Axis show at West Hollywood's Troubadour.

Morello and Tankian have yet to schedule their next concert, although Axis is sponsoring a show Tuesday at the Knitting Factoring in New York featuring the Nightwatchman, the Coup's Boots Riley, Spearhead and a special guest. The Nightwatchman is also performing Wednesday at a protest of the Republican National Convention in New York, and the Axis of Justice radio show is taking over New York's K-Rock for three hours on Monday afternoon.

"I'll be playing rebel music and telling the truth as I see it, so look out," Morello said.

This should be excessively awesome. Especially the cover of "Peace, Love & Understanding", since I have about 3 bootlegged versions of Maynard & Cornell's collaboration and they all sound awesome. I think this, my suggestions in the previous posts' comments and the A Perfect Circle CD coming out on Election Day should save OFB's Fuzzy McAmmies for Best/Worst Cover Songs by a long shot.

You're Welcome.

Counting Bodies Like Sheep to the Rhythm of the War Drums

Lots of cool-ass music coming at you all very soon:

"A Perfect Circle has slated an Election Day release date for a new album, "eMOTIVe." Due Nov. 2 via Virgin, the set of original songs and covers is described by bandleader Maynard James Keenan as "a collection of songs about war, peace, love and greed."

In a statement on the rock act's official Web site, Keenan says APC versions of John Lennon's "Imagine," Marvin Gaye's "What's Goin On" and Fear's "Let's Have a War" will be included.

A full "eMOTIVe" track list was not available at deadline, according to a label spokesperson.

In advance of the album, the group has posted an animated video for the original track "Counting Bodies Like Sheep to the Rhythm of the War Drums." According to Keenan, who is also the frontman of Tool, the clip "pok[es] fun at our fearless leader. Hopefully, you'll find it as entertaining as we do."

In the video, U.S. President George W. Bush distributes mesmerizing televisions that turn children into sheep. The animals are eventually led off a cliff to a pounding chant of "go back to sleep.""

I realize cover albums usually aren't anything to get excited over, but A Perfect Circle has yet to put out something that sucks. Plus Maynard James Keenan is a vocal G-O-D. It should be interesting if nothing else.

"The second UNKLE album, "Never, Never, Land," will arrive Oct. 26 in North America via Global Underground, following its international release last September by Island. After working with DJ Shadow on UNKLE's 1998 debut, "Psyence Fiction," producer/Mo'Wax label head James LaVelle here collaborates with new member Richard File.

As on the debut, which reached No. 1 on Billboard's Heatseekers chart, the new album sports a high-profile roster of guests, including Massive Attack's 3D, Jarvis Cocker, Brian Eno, South's Joel Cadbury and Queens Of The Stone Age's Josh Homme. Former Stone Roses members Ian Brown and Mani appear on "Reign," marking their first collaboration since the Roses' late-'90s split.

The "Eye for an Eye" video has already caused a stir internationally, thanks to its anti-war imagery reflective of the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks. The clip was nominated for best video at the 2003 MTV Europe Music Awards."

UNKLE rocks ass as well, though being slightly more mellow than A Perfect Circle. If you haven't listened to "Rabbit In Your Headlights", then you don't know great atmospheric music.

"Handsome Boy Modeling School, an on-again/off-again project featuring Dan "The Automator" Nakamura and Prince Paul, will unleash its second album this fall. Due Nov. 9 via Atlantic, "White People" will be preceded by the single "The World's Gone Mad" featuring Franz Ferdinand vocalist Alex Kapranos, Del The Funky Homosapien and Barrington Levy.

Handsome Boy's only prior release was the 1999 Tommy Boy effort "So...How's Your Girl?," which reached No. 18 on Billboard's Heatseekers chart and has sold 117,000 copies in the United States, according to Nielsen SoundScan.

The new set is overflowing with guest spots, including Jack Johnson, Kid Koala, the RZA, the Neptunes' Pharrell Williams and Mike Patton, with whom Nakamura previously collaborated in the project Lovage.

Old-school hip-hop meets new rock on "Rock and Roll (Could Never Hip Hop Like This), featuring Linkin Park's Chester Bennington and Mike Shinoda as well as Lord Finesse, Jazzy Jay and Grand Wizard Theodore.

Elsewhere, Cat Power offers breathy intonations over the languid "I've Been Thinking" and the RZA spits verse alongside the Mars Volta's Cedric Bixler and Omar Rodriguez on "A Day in the Life."

But perhaps the strangest pairing can be found on the alternate-universe, adult contemporary-leaning "Greatest Mistake," which sports Hall & Oates' John Oates, Tarnation's Paula Frazer and up-and-coming pop artist Jaime Cullum."

Say what you will, but Dan the Automator has put out some of the most mind-blowing shit of the past 7 or 8 years. Prince Paul's last album was surprisingly good, Mike Patton can do no wrong and, probably most shocking of all, they have me looking forward to hearing a track with Linkin Park guys on it.

"Cake will launch a U.S. tour Oct. 5, the same day its album, "Pressure Chief" is released via Columbia. The run will get underway in Los Angeles and last through an Oct. 24 show in Chicago. New York-based female rap trio Northern State will support on all dates.

"We can't wait to hit the new material hard and play some of the well-oiled older favorites," Cake trumpeter Vince Fiore says."

It's fucking CAKE. 'Nuff said.

All news articles from Billboard.

Cheesesteakgate 2004!

"Crowley went on to recall a visit "about a year ago" that John Kerry made to "a famous cheese steak place" in Philadelphia. "There he ordered, of course, a cheese steak," Crowely continued, "but he ordered it with Swiss cheese. That's kind of a food faux pas in Philadelphia," because, as Crowley noted, "you're supposed to order it with Cheez Whiz, maybe American." "

Swiss?

"...the president appeared to make a jab at Kerry's August 2003 cheese steak order. "A lot of people wonder why I'm coming [to Pennsylvania] so much," Bush said. "It ought to be obvious to you; I like my cheese steak Whiz with."
...Bush actually "prefers his steak absent of the usual Cheez Whiz and provolone, accompanied only by cheese of the American variety,"

American?

Who in the high holy cocksucker gives a shit?

Alright, Let's Have A Show of Hands...

Who out there thinks this is a good idea?

Anyone?

Anyone?

Hello?

Bueller?

Now, there have been a lot of stupid fucking decisions embraced by this administration that I've casually brushed off. When John Ashcroft sang his little fucking song in front of the press and used taxpayer money to drape Lady Justice, I smirked. When indecency fines were raised to astronomical amounts, I turned a somewhat blind eye to the whole thing. But when we, as a nation, actually consider giving money to fund international "friendly militias", well, that just pisses me off.

Firstly, let's extrapolate this whole "friendly militia" deal:

friendly

\Friend"ly\, a. [AS. fre['e]ndl[imac]ce.] 1. Having the temper and disposition of a friend; disposed to promote the good of another; kind; favorable.

And now

militia

\Mi*li"tia\, n. [L., military service, soldiery, fr. miles, militis, soldier: cf. F. milice.] 1. In the widest sense, the whole military force of a nation, including both those engaged in military service as a business, and those competent and available for such service; specifically, the body of citizens enrolled for military instruction and discipline, but not subject to be called into actual service except in emergencies.

So basically, what we would be giving money to are kind, favorable, inexperienced citizens and giving them weapons and a reason to kill.


Wait a second. Friendly...kind...favorable? Is that anything like sensitive?

Nah, couldn't be. My mistake.


Now, I know what you're all thinking. "Employing and funding international militias? What a great idea!! No more American soldiers have to die, and we can fix the problem of international terrorism simply by throwing money at it! How could this possibly go wrong??" And I agree, this is obviously the best course of action we can possibly take as the primary fighter in this War on Terrorism.


Except...


Well, except for the fact that history teaches us otherwise:

...Human Rights Watch said in a report that elite Colombian counternarcotics battalions trained by the US military to fight drug trafficking in the South American nation shared bases, intelligence, and logistical support with the army's 24th Brigade during antidrug operations in the southern Putumayo region in 1999 and in 2000.

The 24th Brigade, which Washington cut off from US aid and training in October 1999 on suspicion of abuses, coordinated operations with right-wing death squads fighting leftist rebels in Colombia's 37-year-old war, the report said.


... Iranian intelligence has been manipulating the United States through Chalabi by furnishing through his Information Collection Program information to provoke the United States into getting rid of Saddam Hussein," said an intelligence source Friday who was briefed on the Defense Intelligence Agency's conclusions, which were based on a review of thousands of internal documents...The Defense Department this week halted payment of $340,000 a month to Chalabi's program.


...The Jehadis, notorious for throwing acid in the faces of women, slicing off their breasts and other atrocious acts, gained power during the 1980's when the U.S saw fit to fund, arm and train them in the fight against Soviet occupation. During their rule, they terrorized the civilian population with blanket rocket shellings, rape, torture and killing, to such a degree that when the Taliban emerged in 1996, they were initially welcomed.


...After twenty-seven years of withholding details about covert activities following the 1973 military coup in Chile, the CIA released a report yesterday acknowledging its close relations with General Augusto Pinochet’s violent regime. The report, “CIA Activities in Chile,” revealed for the first time that the head of the Chile’s feared secret police, DINA, was a paid CIA asset in 1975, and that CIA contacts continued with him long after he dispatched his agents to Washington D.C. to assassinate former Chilean Ambassador Orlando Letelier and his 25-year old American associate, Ronni Karpen Moffitt.


...In 1965, the CIA organized general Suharto to topple the nationalist regime of Suharto in Indonesia and to wipe out the powerful Communist Party there. Suharto and the CIA used Moslem fanaticism to justify the murder of one million communists and others. Suharto ruled Indonesia under iron hand making it "safe" for Exxon-Mobil, investors like Henry Kissinger and his own family. Today, a couple of years after Suharto was overthrown, Indonesia is a hotbed of Moslem fundamentalists who now threaten U.S. interests there and are siding with bin Laden.

In the early 1980s after the overthrow of the pro-U.S. Shah of Iran by Shiite Islamic fundamentalists, the CIA supported and pushed Saddam Hussein to wage war against Iran. For several years, hundreds of thousands of Iraqi and Iranian workers and soldiers die in this war. Now Saddam Hussein is competing with bin Laden as number one in the U.S. top list of enemies.

George Bush Sr. was godfather to one of General Manuel Noriega’s children. Noriega was another CIA asset, used against the nationalist Panamian ruler General Torrijos, who negotiated the nationalization of the Panama Canal. In 1989, Bush ordered an invasion of Panama when Noriega another "blow black" for the CIA. Several thousands Panamanians died when Stealth planes bombed Chorillo, a working class neighborhood, during the invasion.

Then, of course, there's the whole problem we've had with Osama bin Laden:

...Both he (bin Laden) and the Taliban in Afghanistan that protects him are products of the 10-year-long, U.S.-backed war against the ex-USSR occupation of Afghanistan. After Russian troops invaded Afghanistan in 1979, the U.S. trained bin Laden and thousands of other Arab men.

Back then, President Ronald Reagan liked to call bin Laden and his cohorts "freedom fighters."

After the USSR was forced out of Afghanistan in 1989, the CIA-trained "freedom fighters" split into rival factions that fought a civil war during the 1990s. With help from the CIA and U.S. ally Saudi Arabia, the small Taliban militia group emerged out of the chaos, taking over the government in 1996.

The U.S. backed the hard-line Islamists of the Taliban because they thought the group would be able to provide stability for big business. But then the Taliban began to shelter bin Laden and other Islamist movements that the U.S. opposes.

Like Iraq’s Saddam Hussein before them, bin Laden and the Taliban have moved from U.S. allies to enemies.


...When the Soviet Union attacked and invaded Afghanistan on December 24, 1979, the U.S. trained bin Laden and his group in terrorism techniques that could be used against the Soviets. We trained them so effectively they were able to deter one of the strongest military powers in the world, eventually forcing them completely out of their country in the winter of 1988.

Former President Ronald Reagan praised the Mujahedin (Afghan rebels), calling them "The moral equivalent of the founding fathers of America."

Indeed, the United States has a glowing record of achievement when it comes to arming foreign militants to try and benefit American causes internationally. Truly, we are a bastion of common sense in the world.

The fact of the matter is that we, as a country, act like a date rape victim that keeps ordering Rohypnol cocktails. No matter how bad we get fucked by our stupid decisions and total lack of common sense, we never ever fucking learn from them and, as such, we are doomed to continue to get fucked time and time again.


On November 27th, 2001, shortly after the Sept. 11th attacks, President George W. Bush said the following:

"America has a message for the nations of the world: if you harbour terrorists, you're terrorists; if you train or arm a terrorist, you are a terrorist; if you feed or fund a terrorist, you're a terrorist, and you will be held accountable by the United States and our friends."

Now if the United States actively funds, equips and trains these "friendly militias" and they, in turn, decide to rebel against the United States and commit acts of terror, would that not make us the terrorists? Who would we bomb then?


Barkeep?

One Rohypnol cocktail, please.

Swift Boat Veterans For Republican Dollars



Courtesy of the New York Times.

It Was Only A Matter Of Time...

Running for President of the United States has become a game...

...you know, moreso than it already is.

She Lives Off Her Seething Hatred Of Everyone

Now, I've heard a lot about Ann Coulter before, though I've never been brave enough to actively seek out her "articles" to read. I read Al Franken's take on the neo-con stick figure in "Lies..." and have heard some vile awful things from some liberal friends and bloggers. I always thought; surely, there must be SOME embellishment. I mean, let's be frank: most of the bad things I've heard have come from people firmly on the left, so there must be some kind of spin going on here. NOBODY could possibly be THAT totally ignorant and insane and STILL have people listen to them.

Enter the good people at World O'Crap. They found an interview done by some kindly Brits from The Independent who were wondering what we've all been wondering: (a) Why is Ann Coulter popular in America and (b) is she really that insane in person? By reading thier column, the answers stand as (a) We have no fucking idea, and (b) Yes. Here are some clips from the interview, courtesy of World O'Crap:

Meet Ann Coulter. In her opinion, "liberals are racists", the French
are "a bunch of faggots", only property owners should be allowed to vote, and
anyone who disagrees with her is a "fatuous idiot" or "evil". In liberal Europe,
such propositions are seldom aired, even in the most right-wing salons. In
America, however, Coulter - blonde, fortysomething - is a regular guest
commentator on news and talk shows such as Good Morning America, Hannity and
Colmes, At Large with Geraldo Rivera and The O'Reilly Factor.

Within minutes of our sitting down, the conversation turns to the
position of expat Pakistanis in the social hierarchies of the Middle East.
"They're never very high in anyone's caste system, are they," Ann volunteers.
"Poor little Pakis." The photographer and I look at each other. Did she really
say that? But it's just an amuse-bouche to prepare us for what is to come.
We
move on to education. "To get into university without achievement or grades, you
wanna have a name like Shafiqua, Jeffrika or Leroy," says Ann, who is not a fan
of racial quotas. Learning difficulties are a cover for "rich parents with dumb
kids". "That's why 'Pinch' Sulzberger, the publisher of The New York Times, is
alleged to have dyslexia - because he's retarded. Do you guys even have
dyslexia?"

One thing can be said for Coulter: she does not worry about causing
offence. When we talk about the "war on terror", she sounds almost nostalgic for
the Cold War. "When we were fighting communism, OK, they had mass murderers and
gulags, but they were white men and they were sane. Now we're up against
absolutely insane savages." The insouciance with which she drops race into the
mix is so astonishing that it's disarming.
How do you begin to argue with
someone who operates so far outside the generally accepted confines of political
debate?

Next up for discussion are Muslims. She reckons they are going to "take
over" France. "It's going to be Morocco in 10 years." Why is she so worried
about Muslims? "Er, because they fly planes into our skyscrapers?" But those
terrorists are not representative of all Muslims, are they?

"That's not the question. The question is not, 'Are all Muslims
terrorists?' The question is, 'Are all terrorists Muslims?' And the answer is
yes - every one I have to worry about."
Why can't she say extremist Muslims
rather than just Muslims? "If that'll make you happy. They slaughtered 3,000
people and I'm making unfair generalisations. I think we're even." Well, no, I
don't think we're even, I begin to reply - and at this point I see a side of Ann
Coulter that goes beyond the ludicrous opinions. I see someone who is not afraid
to twist, distort, bully and lie in order to "win" her
argument

Before I can elaborate or finish my sentence, she's off again. "Oh no,
you're right, a generalisation is so much worse than slaughtering 3,000 people."
I'm not saying that, I say. "I can't go beyond that, an ethnic generalisation is
worse than slaughter. That is the essence of liberalism, you really do believe
that. You get a glass of wine in you and you spit it out. You heard it. Making
an un-PC generalisation is worse than the attack of 9/11." I'm not saying that,
I repeat. "Yes, you are, you just said it." Of course I don't think that, I
start, before I'm cut off again. "Liar!"

"We are talking about who is most likely to fly planes into our
skyscrapers. It's a time-waster to say, 'Well, who's to say, it could be
Chinamen next time?'" Why not qualify her terms by saying "extremist Muslim
terrorists"? "This is the essence of PC. It's just more syllables." In a last,
vain attempt to ask her if she can sympathise with the point of view of those
she is maligning, I ask her to imagine what she would feel if she had been
brought up a Muslim. "In that case, I would like a steak knife, please, so I can
cut your throat and disembowel you. And then I shall kill all the
Jews!"

Surely, I say, hoping she will concede that she sometimes provokes to
amuse, she doesn't believe everything she comes out with. "This is the shocking
thing for your readers," she replies. "I believe everything I say."

You heard it here first, folks! For those of you who like to take quotes out of context, Here it is, in Big, Bold Print:

"I SHALL KILL ALL THE JEWS!" - Ann Coulter

It's documented, it's viable, and it's a hell of a laugh.

God Bless America.

Inching Closer to Normality (without much formality)

Well well well, three holes in the ground; as my Momma used to say, that is. As with the last posting, it has been quite a while since I last updated this Bloggiest of blogs, but I'm getting closer to some form of normalcy here in beautiful, overpriced CT. Back to full-time Internet connections, and my computer, though having suffered a debilitating virus, is now somewhat functioning (though I am still without sound, for some reason).

I have a copy of Adobe Illustrator, though I am unable to use it as of yet, so the webcomic will be delayed for a good while longer, which is fine, since I have been considering a Spring 2005 start-up date, which should give me enough time to get at least relatively proficient in Illustrator, design a website, and get some comics in the bank before officially opening the gates on this motherfucker.

As soon as this Evil Brian reaches employment status, an additional project shall be started where I'll be building my own second computer, since this one is pretty much full and beat down.

Not much else to say, except I am very much seeking employment in the CT area, if anyone out there has any leads for a down-on-his-luck Communications major.