Saturday, June 05, 2004
Former President-Actor-Guy, 1911-2004
Alright, I'm gonna try my damnedest to be the least offensive I possibly can. I realize it's a tragedy and everything, as the passing of a U.S. President always is. It's a sad, sad day for Americans, as The Gipper and the original (at least for my generation) Cowboy President has died. No matter how much I hate his policies or what I think of the guy in general (or what I think of his unholy army of walking dittohead zombie worshippers), I can still say without guilt that his passing is a dark day for America.
I still (barely) remember being about 5-6 years old, and having my Presidential coloring book with all my favorites: Millard Fillmore (he was the first President to have running water in the White House!!), William Henry Harrison (he died in 30 days!!) and Grover Cleveland (he spanked me on two non-consecutive occasions!!). And then, at the very end of the book, they left the space for Ronald Reagan blank so you could draw what you thought the President looked like, and I drew something alike to a pink rotting pear covered in vaginas in big blue coveralls, and my parents asked "What's that Bri-Bri?" and I replied "Dat's da Pwesident." (I was sooooooo cute!) That is my earliest memory of recognizing who the President was and, in retrospect, it's no surprise because Ronald Reagan was a President for the children. He accused trees of being worse for the environment than cars, giving me more excuses to have campfires, which always resulted in multiple smore smorgasbords. He considered ketchup to be a vegetable, which thrilled the crap out of EVERY kid EVER, as I don't believe there is any child who doesn't love ketchup (why else would they make a green and purple colored variety??), plus ketchup was basically the only way to make me eat tomatoes for about 15 years. he had a plan called Star Wars. STAR WARS for Saget's sake! THAT was fucking genius; NOBODY hates Star Wars, and anyone who does...well...thier opinion doesn't matter anyways. And he sold weapons to Iran and Iraq so...uhhh...well, that reason escapes me.
But he did have a primary role in the creation of tons of very cool punk songs and bands, not the least of which include DRI and the Dead Kennedys, who all rock ass.
So, I will conclude this strenuously-non-asshole-ish post by saying I wish the best to his family and my thoughts are with them. Especially his hot-ass granddaughter.
EDIT: "When people tell me I became president on January 20, 1981, I feel I have to correct them. You don't become president of the United States. You are given temporary custody of an institution called the presidency, which belongs to our people." — Address to the Republican national convention. Aug. 15, 1988
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Alright, I'm gonna try my damnedest to be the least offensive I possibly can. I realize it's a tragedy and everything, as the passing of a U.S. President always is. It's a sad, sad day for Americans, as The Gipper and the original (at least for my generation) Cowboy President has died. No matter how much I hate his policies or what I think of the guy in general (or what I think of his unholy army of walking dittohead zombie worshippers), I can still say without guilt that his passing is a dark day for America.
I still (barely) remember being about 5-6 years old, and having my Presidential coloring book with all my favorites: Millard Fillmore (he was the first President to have running water in the White House!!), William Henry Harrison (he died in 30 days!!) and Grover Cleveland (he spanked me on two non-consecutive occasions!!). And then, at the very end of the book, they left the space for Ronald Reagan blank so you could draw what you thought the President looked like, and I drew something alike to a pink rotting pear covered in vaginas in big blue coveralls, and my parents asked "What's that Bri-Bri?" and I replied "Dat's da Pwesident." (I was sooooooo cute!) That is my earliest memory of recognizing who the President was and, in retrospect, it's no surprise because Ronald Reagan was a President for the children. He accused trees of being worse for the environment than cars, giving me more excuses to have campfires, which always resulted in multiple smore smorgasbords. He considered ketchup to be a vegetable, which thrilled the crap out of EVERY kid EVER, as I don't believe there is any child who doesn't love ketchup (why else would they make a green and purple colored variety??), plus ketchup was basically the only way to make me eat tomatoes for about 15 years. he had a plan called Star Wars. STAR WARS for Saget's sake! THAT was fucking genius; NOBODY hates Star Wars, and anyone who does...well...thier opinion doesn't matter anyways. And he sold weapons to Iran and Iraq so...uhhh...well, that reason escapes me.
But he did have a primary role in the creation of tons of very cool punk songs and bands, not the least of which include DRI and the Dead Kennedys, who all rock ass.
So, I will conclude this strenuously-non-asshole-ish post by saying I wish the best to his family and my thoughts are with them. Especially his hot-ass granddaughter.
EDIT: "When people tell me I became president on January 20, 1981, I feel I have to correct them. You don't become president of the United States. You are given temporary custody of an institution called the presidency, which belongs to our people." — Address to the Republican national convention. Aug. 15, 1988
