Saturday, February 28, 2004
The Jesus Chainsaw Massacre II: Hebrew Boogaloo
Alrighty, I just got back from seeing The Passion of The Christ, and I made a couple of observations about this so-called "controversial" film. And I swear, I'm going to try to not be a dick. Really. I am.
Oh, and there are spoilers for those of you who have never ever ever read, heard about, or listened on tape to the Bible.
- First off, the film used more slow motion then the fucking Matrix movies. Not just that, but at the stupidest times too. Like, when the rabbis are paying off Judas, they throw the sack of coins to him....IN SLOW MOTION. Honestly, if you took all the slow-mo scenes and sped them up to normal time, you'd save something like a half an hour.
- UNNECESSARY SCENE #1: Showing Jesus building a table. a TALL table. And then having Mary cracking wise at Jesus. Okay, look. I think everyone and thier unborn fetus knows Jesus was a carpenter, we don't need to reinforce the fact with a needless flashback.
- Which brings me to the fact that there was barely any clear cuts between present action and flashbacks, which amused me because it confused the fuck out of the audience.
- There is nothing finer than going to a movie about Jesus Christ and listening to people say "Turn that shit off" and "What the fuck?" to annoying cell phones. It warms the very cockles of my evil heart.
- After the first half hour, I had seen all I had wanted to see of Jesus' bloodied horse-teeth.
- UNNECESSARY SCENE #2: Jesus washing feet. I understand SOME Christians are turned on by that kinda thing, and I understand that this is an independent movie, but come the fuck on.
- James Cavaziel can act out pain pretty well. And that's great, because about 90 minutes of the 2 hour movie involves Jesus grimacing in pain, Jesus crying out in pain, or Jesus collapsing from pain. And carpentry.
- They put Satan in the movie, and they made him look like fucking Dr. Evil; pale skin, big nose and all. And as if THAT wasn't enough, during the scourging scene, they gave him a MINI SATAN!! A MINI FUCKING SATAN. That earned the movie my $6.50 right there.
- If there was any TRUE anti-Semitism in there, I couldn't see it. Except for the overly-cartoonish bad guys. Seriously, every high priest seemed like Dick Dastardly, plotting to win the Laff-a-Lympics by forcing the Ranger Smith-like Pontius Pilate into a corner while "taking care" of Huckleberry Christ.
(I hope that wasn't too obscure of a reference)
- UNNECESSARY (BUT COOL) SCENE #3: An extreme close-up of a crow before and after it eats the eyes of the dude crucified next to Jesus. As if we couldn't tell it was a crow by the fact that t's ALL BLACK. Pecking the guy's eyes out was really cool, though.
- I was expecting a Shining-Elevator level of blood here, and I got barely a soapbox-full. Honestly, when Roger Ebert said "This is the most violent movie I have ever seen" I foolishly believed him. Never raise the stakes that high, folks. Everyone comes out a loser. There WAS an almost Kill Bill-worthy blood spray in one scene, though, so that was cool.
- They did have some cool shots, though. One in particular involved a closeup of a rivulet of blood dripping off of a nail that had just been hammered through Jesus' hand. VERY sweet. Plus, a lot of the shots just seemed really well-thought-out; very artistic. Then again, some were total shit.
- The Attack of the Demon Children reminded me of an Aphex Twin video for some strange reason, even though a Children of the Corn refrence would make much more sense.
- I would have liked it twice as much if it had ended RIGHT when Jesus died. I think the movie needs more "Empire Strikes Back" and less "Return of the Jedi", if you catch my drift.
So that's my synopsis on the Jesus Film. Not too bad, bnut definitely doesn't live up to the massive hype. But still the best Jesus film to come out this year. So remember, if you only go to see ONE Jesus film this year, go see The Passion Of The Christ!
EDIT: And also, I agree with my buddy Art. If you don't feel some such relation to Christ or whatnot, then you'll probably be bored shitless and end up counting how many times clumsy Jesus falls down carrying the cross (6, I believe).
|
Alrighty, I just got back from seeing The Passion of The Christ, and I made a couple of observations about this so-called "controversial" film. And I swear, I'm going to try to not be a dick. Really. I am.
Oh, and there are spoilers for those of you who have never ever ever read, heard about, or listened on tape to the Bible.
- First off, the film used more slow motion then the fucking Matrix movies. Not just that, but at the stupidest times too. Like, when the rabbis are paying off Judas, they throw the sack of coins to him....IN SLOW MOTION. Honestly, if you took all the slow-mo scenes and sped them up to normal time, you'd save something like a half an hour.
- UNNECESSARY SCENE #1: Showing Jesus building a table. a TALL table. And then having Mary cracking wise at Jesus. Okay, look. I think everyone and thier unborn fetus knows Jesus was a carpenter, we don't need to reinforce the fact with a needless flashback.
- Which brings me to the fact that there was barely any clear cuts between present action and flashbacks, which amused me because it confused the fuck out of the audience.
- There is nothing finer than going to a movie about Jesus Christ and listening to people say "Turn that shit off" and "What the fuck?" to annoying cell phones. It warms the very cockles of my evil heart.
- After the first half hour, I had seen all I had wanted to see of Jesus' bloodied horse-teeth.
- UNNECESSARY SCENE #2: Jesus washing feet. I understand SOME Christians are turned on by that kinda thing, and I understand that this is an independent movie, but come the fuck on.
- James Cavaziel can act out pain pretty well. And that's great, because about 90 minutes of the 2 hour movie involves Jesus grimacing in pain, Jesus crying out in pain, or Jesus collapsing from pain. And carpentry.
- They put Satan in the movie, and they made him look like fucking Dr. Evil; pale skin, big nose and all. And as if THAT wasn't enough, during the scourging scene, they gave him a MINI SATAN!! A MINI FUCKING SATAN. That earned the movie my $6.50 right there.
- If there was any TRUE anti-Semitism in there, I couldn't see it. Except for the overly-cartoonish bad guys. Seriously, every high priest seemed like Dick Dastardly, plotting to win the Laff-a-Lympics by forcing the Ranger Smith-like Pontius Pilate into a corner while "taking care" of Huckleberry Christ.
(I hope that wasn't too obscure of a reference)
- UNNECESSARY (BUT COOL) SCENE #3: An extreme close-up of a crow before and after it eats the eyes of the dude crucified next to Jesus. As if we couldn't tell it was a crow by the fact that t's ALL BLACK. Pecking the guy's eyes out was really cool, though.
- I was expecting a Shining-Elevator level of blood here, and I got barely a soapbox-full. Honestly, when Roger Ebert said "This is the most violent movie I have ever seen" I foolishly believed him. Never raise the stakes that high, folks. Everyone comes out a loser. There WAS an almost Kill Bill-worthy blood spray in one scene, though, so that was cool.
- They did have some cool shots, though. One in particular involved a closeup of a rivulet of blood dripping off of a nail that had just been hammered through Jesus' hand. VERY sweet. Plus, a lot of the shots just seemed really well-thought-out; very artistic. Then again, some were total shit.
- The Attack of the Demon Children reminded me of an Aphex Twin video for some strange reason, even though a Children of the Corn refrence would make much more sense.
- I would have liked it twice as much if it had ended RIGHT when Jesus died. I think the movie needs more "Empire Strikes Back" and less "Return of the Jedi", if you catch my drift.
So that's my synopsis on the Jesus Film. Not too bad, bnut definitely doesn't live up to the massive hype. But still the best Jesus film to come out this year. So remember, if you only go to see ONE Jesus film this year, go see The Passion Of The Christ!
EDIT: And also, I agree with my buddy Art. If you don't feel some such relation to Christ or whatnot, then you'll probably be bored shitless and end up counting how many times clumsy Jesus falls down carrying the cross (6, I believe).
Thursday, February 26, 2004
The Jesus Chainsaw Massacre
This is my article on the controversial Mel Gibson movie about white Jesus and how he was bludgeoned to death or some such. Hey, it's my blog, I'll post what the fuck ever I want...
“THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST” SPARKS CONTROVERSY, CALLS OF ANTI-SEMITISM
by Evil Brian
On Ash Wednesday, Mel Gibson’s film depicting the torture, crucifixion, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ debuted amid tons of controversy and news coverage. Christians from all over the nation flocked to theaters as early as possible to see what many are considering the most accurate and graphic portrayal of Jesus’ crucifixion ever put to film. Pope John Paul II himself approved of the film wholeheartedly. One man in Plano, Texas went so far as to spend $42,000 of his own money to reserve 20 screens at his local theater so all his fellow churchgoers, friends and family could get a first glimpse at what Roger Ebert calls “…the most violent movie I have ever seen.” It is powerful, it is emotional, but is it anti-Semitic? And, if it is should it be censored or pulled from theaters? Associate Professor of Journalism Kim Landon says absolutely not. “My personal sympathies are with the Anti-Defamation League (who are calling for censure of the movie on the basis that it paints Jews as murderers) but I resent the idea that any religious organization believes that all artistic expression ought to reflect its own version of reality.”
For the most part, Jews in the film are actually cast in a benevolent light; Simon helps Jesus Christ carry the burden of the giant cross, Veronica uses a cloth to wipe the blood and sweat from Jesus’ face, and Jews in the crowd scream in protest of the torture. The Jews that do support Jesus’ torture are priests who have both political and theological reasons for condemning him. Most of the controversy, however, comes down to one line from the Bible that was omitted from the film, in which Caiaphas, a Jewish priest, argues that it is better for one man to die for the people so that the nation can be saved.
Even through this omission, many are skeptical as to the anti-Semitic motives of the film and its filmmakers. “It would take a really twisted mind to see this movie and think ‘Hey…Jews are evil…let’s go kill them.’” Says sophomore Shanelle Gabriel, a member of the Gospel Choir. “It’s like, nobody saw Amistad and said ‘Hey wait, white people are evil.’ And nobody is going to say that about this movie.”
Father Paul Drobin, the Neuman Chaplin for Utica College and SUNY IT, has a different perspective. “From what I have listened to,” Father Drobin says, “I am concerned that the intense, dramatic portrayal (of the Passion) almost manipulates who we are as a relationship to God.” He is concerned that the movie will use our internal psyche to draw us in and will not allow us distance to reflect on who we are and who God is. “We must never violate our aesthetic distance to God.” He says, “Who I am must always be me, and if I immerse myself in art, I must always be myself.” As far as the claims of anti-Semitism, he believes that there could be a potential to resurrect some ancient feelings of animosity. While Father Drobin appreciates what Mel Gibson is trying to do, he is not sure if the movie is true to what really happened and he will not be watching this movie.
The only real way to find out about any anti-Semitism that may or may not be in the movie is to see it for yourself. Nevertheless, thousands of Christians Catholics and movie fans will no doubt swarm theaters to catch this limited release film. No matter what your religious belief, anyone would agree that this is certainly a powerful, majestic and, above all else, bloody film.
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This is my article on the controversial Mel Gibson movie about white Jesus and how he was bludgeoned to death or some such. Hey, it's my blog, I'll post what the fuck ever I want...
“THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST” SPARKS CONTROVERSY, CALLS OF ANTI-SEMITISM
by Evil Brian
On Ash Wednesday, Mel Gibson’s film depicting the torture, crucifixion, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ debuted amid tons of controversy and news coverage. Christians from all over the nation flocked to theaters as early as possible to see what many are considering the most accurate and graphic portrayal of Jesus’ crucifixion ever put to film. Pope John Paul II himself approved of the film wholeheartedly. One man in Plano, Texas went so far as to spend $42,000 of his own money to reserve 20 screens at his local theater so all his fellow churchgoers, friends and family could get a first glimpse at what Roger Ebert calls “…the most violent movie I have ever seen.” It is powerful, it is emotional, but is it anti-Semitic? And, if it is should it be censored or pulled from theaters? Associate Professor of Journalism Kim Landon says absolutely not. “My personal sympathies are with the Anti-Defamation League (who are calling for censure of the movie on the basis that it paints Jews as murderers) but I resent the idea that any religious organization believes that all artistic expression ought to reflect its own version of reality.”
For the most part, Jews in the film are actually cast in a benevolent light; Simon helps Jesus Christ carry the burden of the giant cross, Veronica uses a cloth to wipe the blood and sweat from Jesus’ face, and Jews in the crowd scream in protest of the torture. The Jews that do support Jesus’ torture are priests who have both political and theological reasons for condemning him. Most of the controversy, however, comes down to one line from the Bible that was omitted from the film, in which Caiaphas, a Jewish priest, argues that it is better for one man to die for the people so that the nation can be saved.
Even through this omission, many are skeptical as to the anti-Semitic motives of the film and its filmmakers. “It would take a really twisted mind to see this movie and think ‘Hey…Jews are evil…let’s go kill them.’” Says sophomore Shanelle Gabriel, a member of the Gospel Choir. “It’s like, nobody saw Amistad and said ‘Hey wait, white people are evil.’ And nobody is going to say that about this movie.”
Father Paul Drobin, the Neuman Chaplin for Utica College and SUNY IT, has a different perspective. “From what I have listened to,” Father Drobin says, “I am concerned that the intense, dramatic portrayal (of the Passion) almost manipulates who we are as a relationship to God.” He is concerned that the movie will use our internal psyche to draw us in and will not allow us distance to reflect on who we are and who God is. “We must never violate our aesthetic distance to God.” He says, “Who I am must always be me, and if I immerse myself in art, I must always be myself.” As far as the claims of anti-Semitism, he believes that there could be a potential to resurrect some ancient feelings of animosity. While Father Drobin appreciates what Mel Gibson is trying to do, he is not sure if the movie is true to what really happened and he will not be watching this movie.
The only real way to find out about any anti-Semitism that may or may not be in the movie is to see it for yourself. Nevertheless, thousands of Christians Catholics and movie fans will no doubt swarm theaters to catch this limited release film. No matter what your religious belief, anyone would agree that this is certainly a powerful, majestic and, above all else, bloody film.
Sunday, February 22, 2004
Korn Shocks The World By Doing Something That Does Not Suck Ass.
It would have been cool if they put this out when they were still, ya know, relevant, but Korn's newest video for the ultra-shittily-titled Y'all Want A Single is officially the coolest thing the band has ever done. And while I appreciate that they want to get these messages out to thier fanbase, this would have been a much bigger deal in, say, 1999.
Goddamn, Korn has a cool video, Incubus just put out an awesome video....what the fuck is going on here??? Next thing you know, these bands might start putting out DECENT MUSIC.
But then what would happen to Your Favorite Band Sucks??
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It would have been cool if they put this out when they were still, ya know, relevant, but Korn's newest video for the ultra-shittily-titled Y'all Want A Single is officially the coolest thing the band has ever done. And while I appreciate that they want to get these messages out to thier fanbase, this would have been a much bigger deal in, say, 1999.
Goddamn, Korn has a cool video, Incubus just put out an awesome video....what the fuck is going on here??? Next thing you know, these bands might start putting out DECENT MUSIC.
But then what would happen to Your Favorite Band Sucks??
Thursday, February 19, 2004
Another Simple Way to Waste Time When You (I) Should Be Writing a 10 Page Paper the Night Before It's Due...
Rules of the mp3 Game:
1. open your mp3 player
2. put ALL of your mp3s onto your playlist (hey, if I could put my 10,000 some odd files on mine, you can do it with yours)
3. put it on random/shuffle
4. write down the first 10 tracks that come up, no matter how embarassing they may be.
Here's mine:
Iron & Wine - Southern Anthem
Black Eyed Peas - the APL Song
The Smashing Pumpkins - Innosence
Mike Doughty - Firetruck (live)
Final Fantasy VII - Off the Edge of Despair
The Caesars - Fun & Games
Further Seems Forever - A Blank Page Empire
Motograter - Fight
Cee-Lo - Closet Freak
Nappy Roots - Po' Folks
hehehe...wasting time is fun...here's another 10:
The Donnas - Not the One
Whirlwind Heat - Grey
Dashboard Confessional - Hands Down (so impossible ep)
Radiohead - Permanent Daylight
Marilyn Manson - Born Again
Beck - Sissyneck
Bleeding Through - Mutilation
G-Unit - Smile
Hot Hot Heat - Aveda
Missy Elliott featuring TLC - Can You Hear Me?
ALRIIIIGHT!!!! *TAG!*
NOW IT'S YOUR TURN!!!
Leave your results in the comments!!!
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
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Rules of the mp3 Game:
1. open your mp3 player
2. put ALL of your mp3s onto your playlist (hey, if I could put my 10,000 some odd files on mine, you can do it with yours)
3. put it on random/shuffle
4. write down the first 10 tracks that come up, no matter how embarassing they may be.
Here's mine:
Iron & Wine - Southern Anthem
Black Eyed Peas - the APL Song
The Smashing Pumpkins - Innosence
Mike Doughty - Firetruck (live)
Final Fantasy VII - Off the Edge of Despair
The Caesars - Fun & Games
Further Seems Forever - A Blank Page Empire
Motograter - Fight
Cee-Lo - Closet Freak
Nappy Roots - Po' Folks
hehehe...wasting time is fun...here's another 10:
The Donnas - Not the One
Whirlwind Heat - Grey
Dashboard Confessional - Hands Down (so impossible ep)
Radiohead - Permanent Daylight
Marilyn Manson - Born Again
Beck - Sissyneck
Bleeding Through - Mutilation
G-Unit - Smile
Hot Hot Heat - Aveda
Missy Elliott featuring TLC - Can You Hear Me?
ALRIIIIGHT!!!! *TAG!*
NOW IT'S YOUR TURN!!!
Leave your results in the comments!!!
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
Monday, February 16, 2004
Album Review: PROBOT
Well, for my album review this time, I decided to forgo the all-too mainstream Incubus in favor of something with some real meat, some thing I could write at length about and for that, I chose Probot. Enjoy:
PROBOT:
Dave Grohl’s Bastard Hellspawn Thrashes the Masses
By Evil Brian
In 2001, the metal world was abuzz with both confusioin and extreme delight as news came around that Dave Grohl, having served time with Nirvana, Foo Fighters, Tenacious D, Queens of the Stone Age, Ozzy Osbourne and countless other bands, was about to launch a creation of most metal proportions. He was going to launch Probot: a combination of his instrumentations and collaborations with the thrash metal lead singers of the 80’s and 90’s that he worshipped as gods. Everyone had an opinion on this idea: many called it inappropriate and treated it as if Dave Grohl was spitting in each and every face of every member of the thrash metal scene. Others considered it a blessing and touted it as possibly being the best metal alliance ever. Whichever the opinion, anticipation grew and grew, rumors were spread, and now, nearly 3 years later, all has come to fruition as Probot has been unleashed upon the world.
The story goes like this: Grohl came up with the idea, and immediately went about writing tons of music. He brought together the best cuts, and sent them out to his favorite metal vocalists from his favorite bands that were making a noise on the underground metal scene between 1983 and 1990. Te result is an album featuring 11 of the loudest, fastest, most brutal and downright ass-kicking metal tracks to come out in the past 3 years! Such an album (one could almost call it a compilation if it weren’t so well put together) demands a track-by-track breakdown.
The first track, Centuries of Sin, features Cronos from Venom and firmly establishes that this is no nu-metal, walk in the park poseur album. Loud and fast and reminiscent of Metallica’s first album, this track prepares you for the insane onslaught of brutality you’re about to face. Gritty vocals and heavy-as-hell riffs all come together to blast a hole through your head.
Red War, featuring Max Cavalera from Sepultura/Soulfly is next and totally blows all of his work with Soulfly out of the water. Where Soulfly struggles to be a relevant nu-metal band and ultimately fails at the relevant portion, this Probot track brings him back to his thrash/punk/metal roots with Sepultura and reminds us just why Cavalera is so damned important and respected in the metal scene in the first place. Double bass kick drums, and a repetitious, almost punk guitar line give way to an incredible guitar riff and Max’s always-brutal vocals. This will make you miss the old Sepultura lineup more and more.
Lemmy from Motorhead fronts the next track and the album’s first single, Shake Your Blood. This track just OOZES Motorhead madness- Lemmy lends his bass and his easily-recognizable voice to this absolutely grinding (and ultimately derivative) metal track. The video for this can be found on www.probotmusic.com and features the always-entertaining SuicideGirls burlesque troupe. NOT to be missed.
Access Babylon features Mike Dean from Corrosion of Conformity who brings a very different sound to the table. This is certainly not a COC song; rather, it is a short fast thrash metal tune very different from the slow, sludgey Southern metal his band is known for. Still, a very cool tune.
The next track features Kurt Brecht from thrash/punk pioneers DRI, and has a very punk-type feel to it. The vocals are delivered very matter-of-factly and seem to announce each line. The instrumentation is pretty derivative and kind of bland, and, though the chorus is very cool and features some nice cymbal-work, this is definitely the weakest song on the entire disc.
Ice Cold Man has the awesome Lee Dorrian on it, hailing from black/death metal bands such as Cathedral and Napalm Death. It’s a slow, heavy Sabbath-esque tune, which has an almost doom-metal feel to it. Very dark and murky and Lee does an amazing job with the lyrics adding to the creepy atmosphere of the entire song.
Track seven is one that Dave Grohl has described as one of his favorites. Featuring Wino from St. Vitus and Obsessed, the song The Emerald Law starts off pretty mellow until the vocals come in and the guitars start up and everything goes all to hell. Gloomy thrash metal, and it works.
Tom G. Warrior from Swiss death metal legends Celtic Frost sings on Big Sky. A hard-driving powerhouse of a song, Warrior’s overwhelming voice lends a ton of muscle and blends well with the simplistic, chugging bass-heavy riffs that push this song into sinister, head-banging territory.
Voivod’s Snake lends his vocals to Dictatosaurus and the progressive metal legend does NOT disappoint. With a lot of the same lyrical styles and vocal melodies as his original group, Snake’s part-nasally, part-melodic voice kicks the hell out of Grohl’s almost industrial-feeling guitar and drums.
Eric Wagner of power/thrash giants Trouble sings another gloom and doom, hell it’s almost GOTHIC, metal track My Tortured Soul. Depressing and ass-kicking at the same time, the song just FEELS dirty and sludgy and thick; kind of a cross between Black Sabbath and Master of Puppets-era Metallica. Very cool and very listenable.
The final track features the always-impressive King Diamond from Satanic death/thrash pioneers Mercyful Fate and ends the album with an amazing performance that nobody could ever forget. With some of the heaviest and hardest music on the entire album, King Diamond slaps his trademark falsetto all over Sweet Dreams (the guy from The Darkness has NOTHING on King Diamond) and screeches and screams at the top of his evil lungs until the song comes to an all-too-abrupt crashing halt.
This CD just screams for repeated listens. It feels like a compilation or a soundtrack, but it’s so much more. Every single song has an individual feel to it, and yet a similar vein is kept throughout not just with the music, but the overall mood of the album. It’s dark, it’s evil, it’s motherf*%@ing METAL. Dave Grohl was heavily criticized for trying to put together his “death metal supergroup” in 2001; most said that it couldn’t be done, and almost everyone thought it was going to suck. This just goes to show how very wrong people can be. Probot may very well end up having produced the finest metal release of the year. This is an excellent way to school so-called “metal” fans into exactly what metal is supposed to sound like by taking the roots of metal music and resurrecting them for all to hear. This is the rebirth of old school thrash metal into the modern era. This is heaviness. This is metal. This is Probot.
Listen if you like: Black Sabbath, old Metallica, Motorhead, Celtic Frost, etc.
Visit: www.probotmusic.com
www.southernlord.com
by Evil Brian
Listen to Probot and more on the SMF Metal Morning Show
every Mon. – Fri. from 6:00 to 8:30 AM
Only on WPNR Power 90.7 FM
Utica College Radio.
WPNRevilGM@yahoo.com
|
Well, for my album review this time, I decided to forgo the all-too mainstream Incubus in favor of something with some real meat, some thing I could write at length about and for that, I chose Probot. Enjoy:
PROBOT:
Dave Grohl’s Bastard Hellspawn Thrashes the Masses
By Evil Brian
In 2001, the metal world was abuzz with both confusioin and extreme delight as news came around that Dave Grohl, having served time with Nirvana, Foo Fighters, Tenacious D, Queens of the Stone Age, Ozzy Osbourne and countless other bands, was about to launch a creation of most metal proportions. He was going to launch Probot: a combination of his instrumentations and collaborations with the thrash metal lead singers of the 80’s and 90’s that he worshipped as gods. Everyone had an opinion on this idea: many called it inappropriate and treated it as if Dave Grohl was spitting in each and every face of every member of the thrash metal scene. Others considered it a blessing and touted it as possibly being the best metal alliance ever. Whichever the opinion, anticipation grew and grew, rumors were spread, and now, nearly 3 years later, all has come to fruition as Probot has been unleashed upon the world.
The story goes like this: Grohl came up with the idea, and immediately went about writing tons of music. He brought together the best cuts, and sent them out to his favorite metal vocalists from his favorite bands that were making a noise on the underground metal scene between 1983 and 1990. Te result is an album featuring 11 of the loudest, fastest, most brutal and downright ass-kicking metal tracks to come out in the past 3 years! Such an album (one could almost call it a compilation if it weren’t so well put together) demands a track-by-track breakdown.
The first track, Centuries of Sin, features Cronos from Venom and firmly establishes that this is no nu-metal, walk in the park poseur album. Loud and fast and reminiscent of Metallica’s first album, this track prepares you for the insane onslaught of brutality you’re about to face. Gritty vocals and heavy-as-hell riffs all come together to blast a hole through your head.
Red War, featuring Max Cavalera from Sepultura/Soulfly is next and totally blows all of his work with Soulfly out of the water. Where Soulfly struggles to be a relevant nu-metal band and ultimately fails at the relevant portion, this Probot track brings him back to his thrash/punk/metal roots with Sepultura and reminds us just why Cavalera is so damned important and respected in the metal scene in the first place. Double bass kick drums, and a repetitious, almost punk guitar line give way to an incredible guitar riff and Max’s always-brutal vocals. This will make you miss the old Sepultura lineup more and more.
Lemmy from Motorhead fronts the next track and the album’s first single, Shake Your Blood. This track just OOZES Motorhead madness- Lemmy lends his bass and his easily-recognizable voice to this absolutely grinding (and ultimately derivative) metal track. The video for this can be found on www.probotmusic.com and features the always-entertaining SuicideGirls burlesque troupe. NOT to be missed.
Access Babylon features Mike Dean from Corrosion of Conformity who brings a very different sound to the table. This is certainly not a COC song; rather, it is a short fast thrash metal tune very different from the slow, sludgey Southern metal his band is known for. Still, a very cool tune.
The next track features Kurt Brecht from thrash/punk pioneers DRI, and has a very punk-type feel to it. The vocals are delivered very matter-of-factly and seem to announce each line. The instrumentation is pretty derivative and kind of bland, and, though the chorus is very cool and features some nice cymbal-work, this is definitely the weakest song on the entire disc.
Ice Cold Man has the awesome Lee Dorrian on it, hailing from black/death metal bands such as Cathedral and Napalm Death. It’s a slow, heavy Sabbath-esque tune, which has an almost doom-metal feel to it. Very dark and murky and Lee does an amazing job with the lyrics adding to the creepy atmosphere of the entire song.
Track seven is one that Dave Grohl has described as one of his favorites. Featuring Wino from St. Vitus and Obsessed, the song The Emerald Law starts off pretty mellow until the vocals come in and the guitars start up and everything goes all to hell. Gloomy thrash metal, and it works.
Tom G. Warrior from Swiss death metal legends Celtic Frost sings on Big Sky. A hard-driving powerhouse of a song, Warrior’s overwhelming voice lends a ton of muscle and blends well with the simplistic, chugging bass-heavy riffs that push this song into sinister, head-banging territory.
Voivod’s Snake lends his vocals to Dictatosaurus and the progressive metal legend does NOT disappoint. With a lot of the same lyrical styles and vocal melodies as his original group, Snake’s part-nasally, part-melodic voice kicks the hell out of Grohl’s almost industrial-feeling guitar and drums.
Eric Wagner of power/thrash giants Trouble sings another gloom and doom, hell it’s almost GOTHIC, metal track My Tortured Soul. Depressing and ass-kicking at the same time, the song just FEELS dirty and sludgy and thick; kind of a cross between Black Sabbath and Master of Puppets-era Metallica. Very cool and very listenable.
The final track features the always-impressive King Diamond from Satanic death/thrash pioneers Mercyful Fate and ends the album with an amazing performance that nobody could ever forget. With some of the heaviest and hardest music on the entire album, King Diamond slaps his trademark falsetto all over Sweet Dreams (the guy from The Darkness has NOTHING on King Diamond) and screeches and screams at the top of his evil lungs until the song comes to an all-too-abrupt crashing halt.
This CD just screams for repeated listens. It feels like a compilation or a soundtrack, but it’s so much more. Every single song has an individual feel to it, and yet a similar vein is kept throughout not just with the music, but the overall mood of the album. It’s dark, it’s evil, it’s motherf*%@ing METAL. Dave Grohl was heavily criticized for trying to put together his “death metal supergroup” in 2001; most said that it couldn’t be done, and almost everyone thought it was going to suck. This just goes to show how very wrong people can be. Probot may very well end up having produced the finest metal release of the year. This is an excellent way to school so-called “metal” fans into exactly what metal is supposed to sound like by taking the roots of metal music and resurrecting them for all to hear. This is the rebirth of old school thrash metal into the modern era. This is heaviness. This is metal. This is Probot.
Listen if you like: Black Sabbath, old Metallica, Motorhead, Celtic Frost, etc.
Visit: www.probotmusic.com
www.southernlord.com
by Evil Brian
Listen to Probot and more on the SMF Metal Morning Show
every Mon. – Fri. from 6:00 to 8:30 AM
Only on WPNR Power 90.7 FM
Utica College Radio.
WPNRevilGM@yahoo.com
Sunday, February 15, 2004
Cheap Entertainment
I had never noticed this before, but try this:
1. Go to amazon.com
2. Search for Bil Keane or Family Circus
3. Go to the Books archives
4. Read the reviews
Honestly, I haven't laughed this hard since, well....since earlier this morning when I watched "Clerks", but this is still pretty fucking funny. Highly Recommended.
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I had never noticed this before, but try this:
1. Go to amazon.com
2. Search for Bil Keane or Family Circus
3. Go to the Books archives
4. Read the reviews
Honestly, I haven't laughed this hard since, well....since earlier this morning when I watched "Clerks", but this is still pretty fucking funny. Highly Recommended.
My Video Games List
It's a short, sad, sorry list, and I probably missed a bunch of stuff from the Genesis and NES, but THIS is the complete list of all the video games I currently own.
And believe me, I have a BUNCH of shitty shitty games here, along with a lot of absolutely awesome ones. Enjoy!
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It's a short, sad, sorry list, and I probably missed a bunch of stuff from the Genesis and NES, but THIS is the complete list of all the video games I currently own.
And believe me, I have a BUNCH of shitty shitty games here, along with a lot of absolutely awesome ones. Enjoy!
Sunday, February 08, 2004
Well, Here We Go...
Tomorrow morning is the official start of the Spring season of WPNR Utica College Radio and I, being both benevolent and insane, have decided to resurrect the Morning Show slot. That's right, it's going to be Evil Brian and the SMF Metal Morning Show every Monday through Friday, from 6 to 8:30 AM!!! I'm gonna be bringing news and metal together, along with some entertaining stuff too (every Friday is going to feature the Week in Science News Report, as brought to you by Dr. Stephen Hawking. Me and the Hawkman, we be tight, yo.) There's already bets being placed as to not whether I last the whole semester, but how long it will be until I stop showing up at 6 AM (I've heard anywhere from 4 weeks to 1 week to 3 days).
It's gonna be one hell of an interesting semester, to say the least.
That's the SMF Metal Morning Show, only on WPNR 90.7 FM, Utica College Radio.
Wake up to Evil, bitches.
|
Tomorrow morning is the official start of the Spring season of WPNR Utica College Radio and I, being both benevolent and insane, have decided to resurrect the Morning Show slot. That's right, it's going to be Evil Brian and the SMF Metal Morning Show every Monday through Friday, from 6 to 8:30 AM!!! I'm gonna be bringing news and metal together, along with some entertaining stuff too (every Friday is going to feature the Week in Science News Report, as brought to you by Dr. Stephen Hawking. Me and the Hawkman, we be tight, yo.) There's already bets being placed as to not whether I last the whole semester, but how long it will be until I stop showing up at 6 AM (I've heard anywhere from 4 weeks to 1 week to 3 days).
It's gonna be one hell of an interesting semester, to say the least.
That's the SMF Metal Morning Show, only on WPNR 90.7 FM, Utica College Radio.
Wake up to Evil, bitches.
Sunday, February 01, 2004
Album Review: DAMAGEPLAN
As I stated earlier in this very same blog, I am now writing album reviews for the school paper the Tangerine. This is the first of what is sure to be maybe a dozen articles written by me. I decided (after flipping a coin several times) to do my very first one on the band Damageplan, the new band featuring one-half of metal giants Pantera. Enjoy!
DAMAGEPLAN
The Cowboys From Hell Head to the Cemetery Gates and Resurrect Their Roots
By Evil Brian
The implosion of Texas metal pioneers Pantera have produced several off-shoots, but none seem to be more promising than DAMAGEPLAN, the new band featuring Dimebag Darrell and Vinnie Paul, the lead guitarist and drummer (respectively) that turned Pantera from a barely passable and downright embarrassing hair metal band to the beer-swilling, ass-kicking, head-banging legends of true Metal. But it certainly wasn’t an easy road to get to this point.
Former Pantera frontman Phil Anselmo made a promise to his bandmates a long time ago that there would be nothing keeping his focus away from Pantera. That all changed in 2002 when Anselmo decided, after releasing a new album by his side project Down, that he had had enough of his bandmates and effectively disbanded Pantera after 10 years so he could focus on his new project Superjoint Ritual. Distraught and feeling betrayed by their former best friend and frontman, Darrell and Paul decided to vent all their frustrations into what would be some of the best slabs of metal energy they had ever produced. Combining their massive talents with a new vocalist (Pat Lachman, former guitarist for Halford) and a new bassist (Bob Zilla), Damageplan are out for blood, creating a record loud and violent enough to strip paint off of walls.
Damageplan’s debut album New Found Power combines all the best elements from Pantera’s well-storied past (brutal guitar work, heavy-as-hell riffs, double bass drumming) and takes it to the next level, adding some much-needed variety to their core sound and creating music much more diverse, accessible and blisteringly loud than anything they’ve ever done before.
The album starts off with the song “Wake Up” and immediately, you know this isn’t just Pantera Part II. A creepy dramatic ambient-style intro rises and then gives way to Lachman screaming WAKE UP! as loud as he possibly can. The rest of the song is an exercise in groove-worthy riffs and almost nu-metal style vocals but still doesn’t lose any of its power. And this is the WORST SONG ON THE ALBUM. You just know this album is going to kick ass six ways to Sunday and back again. The album continues through “Breathing New Life”, “New Found Power” and “Pride”, a trifecta of ear-bleeding goodness before it gets to one of the several songs on here obviously addressing Phil Anselmo’s betrayal of his former bandmates. “F*** You” is viciously loud, fast and heavy and spits more venom than a Texas rattlesnake, with Lachman and Corey Taylor (from Slipknot) screaming “F*** your power trip and/F*** your attitude and/ F*** your bloated ego too…” Getting some guitar help from master shredder Zakk Wylde, the next song “Reborn” tears ass all over the place and the solo is NOT to be missed. “Explode” does just that to your stereo speakers, while the first single “Save Me” is definitely the most accessible song on the entire record, and definitely makes for a good introduction to the new/old/new again sound that Damageplan confronts the listener with; “clean” vocals (actual singing, little screaming), interesting guitars and chant-worthy lyrics makes for a pretty catchy tune and all but eliminates any idea in the listener’s mind that this is going to be Pantera with a different vocalist. “Cold Blooded” is just sinisterly good, an intense seething rant put against a backdrop of killer guitars and downright violent drumwork. “Crawl” brings us back to the thrash metal background of everyone involved and is very reminiscent of some of Anthrax’s better moments. The next few songs (“Blink of an Eye”, “Blunt Force Trauma”, “Moment of Truth”) honestly kind of sound similar and bleed into each other. They aren’t BAD persay, just a little same-y; a little slow and sludgy guitarwork with throat-searing vocals. The last song, however, is just KILLER. “Soul Bleed” basically takes everything you just heard and throws it all out the window. An emotional, poignant acoustic performance that, after the previous 13 tracks have torn you down like the Berlin Wall, just builds you all the way back up. The lyrics are poetic, the guitar is EXCELLENT and the vocals are absolutely on point.
This album just may redefine what we believe is metal, may bring the mainstream back from their Linkin Parks, their Korns and their Nickelbacks and may show an entire new generation what metal is supposed to sound like. One can only hope. Until then, just listen to this album and be amazed.
Listen if you Like: Pantera, Anthrax, Megadeth
Visit: www.damageplan.com
|
As I stated earlier in this very same blog, I am now writing album reviews for the school paper the Tangerine. This is the first of what is sure to be maybe a dozen articles written by me. I decided (after flipping a coin several times) to do my very first one on the band Damageplan, the new band featuring one-half of metal giants Pantera. Enjoy!
DAMAGEPLAN
The Cowboys From Hell Head to the Cemetery Gates and Resurrect Their Roots
By Evil Brian
The implosion of Texas metal pioneers Pantera have produced several off-shoots, but none seem to be more promising than DAMAGEPLAN, the new band featuring Dimebag Darrell and Vinnie Paul, the lead guitarist and drummer (respectively) that turned Pantera from a barely passable and downright embarrassing hair metal band to the beer-swilling, ass-kicking, head-banging legends of true Metal. But it certainly wasn’t an easy road to get to this point.
Former Pantera frontman Phil Anselmo made a promise to his bandmates a long time ago that there would be nothing keeping his focus away from Pantera. That all changed in 2002 when Anselmo decided, after releasing a new album by his side project Down, that he had had enough of his bandmates and effectively disbanded Pantera after 10 years so he could focus on his new project Superjoint Ritual. Distraught and feeling betrayed by their former best friend and frontman, Darrell and Paul decided to vent all their frustrations into what would be some of the best slabs of metal energy they had ever produced. Combining their massive talents with a new vocalist (Pat Lachman, former guitarist for Halford) and a new bassist (Bob Zilla), Damageplan are out for blood, creating a record loud and violent enough to strip paint off of walls.
Damageplan’s debut album New Found Power combines all the best elements from Pantera’s well-storied past (brutal guitar work, heavy-as-hell riffs, double bass drumming) and takes it to the next level, adding some much-needed variety to their core sound and creating music much more diverse, accessible and blisteringly loud than anything they’ve ever done before.
The album starts off with the song “Wake Up” and immediately, you know this isn’t just Pantera Part II. A creepy dramatic ambient-style intro rises and then gives way to Lachman screaming WAKE UP! as loud as he possibly can. The rest of the song is an exercise in groove-worthy riffs and almost nu-metal style vocals but still doesn’t lose any of its power. And this is the WORST SONG ON THE ALBUM. You just know this album is going to kick ass six ways to Sunday and back again. The album continues through “Breathing New Life”, “New Found Power” and “Pride”, a trifecta of ear-bleeding goodness before it gets to one of the several songs on here obviously addressing Phil Anselmo’s betrayal of his former bandmates. “F*** You” is viciously loud, fast and heavy and spits more venom than a Texas rattlesnake, with Lachman and Corey Taylor (from Slipknot) screaming “F*** your power trip and/F*** your attitude and/ F*** your bloated ego too…” Getting some guitar help from master shredder Zakk Wylde, the next song “Reborn” tears ass all over the place and the solo is NOT to be missed. “Explode” does just that to your stereo speakers, while the first single “Save Me” is definitely the most accessible song on the entire record, and definitely makes for a good introduction to the new/old/new again sound that Damageplan confronts the listener with; “clean” vocals (actual singing, little screaming), interesting guitars and chant-worthy lyrics makes for a pretty catchy tune and all but eliminates any idea in the listener’s mind that this is going to be Pantera with a different vocalist. “Cold Blooded” is just sinisterly good, an intense seething rant put against a backdrop of killer guitars and downright violent drumwork. “Crawl” brings us back to the thrash metal background of everyone involved and is very reminiscent of some of Anthrax’s better moments. The next few songs (“Blink of an Eye”, “Blunt Force Trauma”, “Moment of Truth”) honestly kind of sound similar and bleed into each other. They aren’t BAD persay, just a little same-y; a little slow and sludgy guitarwork with throat-searing vocals. The last song, however, is just KILLER. “Soul Bleed” basically takes everything you just heard and throws it all out the window. An emotional, poignant acoustic performance that, after the previous 13 tracks have torn you down like the Berlin Wall, just builds you all the way back up. The lyrics are poetic, the guitar is EXCELLENT and the vocals are absolutely on point.
This album just may redefine what we believe is metal, may bring the mainstream back from their Linkin Parks, their Korns and their Nickelbacks and may show an entire new generation what metal is supposed to sound like. One can only hope. Until then, just listen to this album and be amazed.
Listen if you Like: Pantera, Anthrax, Megadeth
Visit: www.damageplan.com
