Evil Brian's Evil Thoughts...it's a MotherFucker

"Don't Leave Me Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh..."

Making a 2nd grade class listen to Radiohead = Good

Making said 2nd grade class draw what the music makes them think of = Better

The Results = Funny as fucking Hell.

You've Been Using Tin Foil????

Tin foil doesn't work! You have to use VELOSTAT!! DUH!!!!



This man is my new hero.

Go HERE to read all about his heroic battle against the telepathic alien menace!

And remember: Do NOT substitute the Velostat shielding with other materials! The Velostat made by 3M works!!!

We're Dark and Brooding....FOR JESUS!

Introducing 12 Stones, the hardcore Christian nu-metal band featuring that one guy that rapped on that Evanescence song that I friggin hate.





They're all wearing black to show that they rock hard. Or are rock hard for Jesus, one or the other. Either way, they all look and sound like underage knob polishers who spent more time browsing through Hot Topic than practicing thier instruments.

And they're on Creed's record label too, meeting the first prerequisite to sucking major ass.


EDIT: And I FINALLY figured out how to post pictures. Sweetness.

Picked This Off My Friend Art's Blurty...

Pointless, time-wasting fun. Here's mine:



create your own visited states map
or write about it on the open travel guide

About Fucking Time


Halle-fucking-lujah.

Thou shalt be swallowed by a whale with excessively bad breath, O ye denizen of the underworld!

THIS is a lot of stupid fun.

A New Semester Begins...

Not counting the 2 courses I'm going to have to take in the summer, this is my FINAL semester of college. Scary and bizarre. Anyways, this here is a breakdown of the classes I'm going to be taking as part of my Communication Arts major:

HIS 105: World History I - History class is bad enough. History class at 8:30 in the fucking morning is INSANE. Brian's going to have to get a coffee maker, because I don't believe I've ever stayed awake through any History class ever.

EDIT: Evil Brian got an evil coffee maker :)

COM 481: Senior Seminar - This is the class all Comm. majors are required to take before they graduate. It's all about writing resumes, career possibilities, and basically how to utilize everything you've learned over the past 4 years. Then there's the Final Presentation, the theme of which changes every year. And THIS year it's * cue fanfare* MUSIC. And, seeing as how I am the world's greatest concentration of useless music knowledge, I'm gonna kick some ass.

COM 365: Writing & Announcing For TV and Radio - Basically, how to condense a page and a half of news into 20 seconds. And how to dumb it down so the average American won't become confused. I wish to God I was kidding.

FRE 102: French 2 - I fucking hate foreign language courses, I really really do. And seeing as how the only countries I have a desire to visit are Ireland and Canada, and that there isn't a Gaelic Language course offered, this is the next best thing, I suppose.

JLM 130: Tangerine Practicum - The school newspaper is called the Tangerine (don't ask why, it's a retarded story) and I needed ONE credit, so here we go. I get to write music reviews for a grade. And hey, maybe some actual news stories too. KICKASS!

JLM 467: Communications Law - This is gonna be an awesome course. It's also the absolute toughest course I can take in my major. An entire semester of studying law and court cases involving communication and the First Amendment, all culminating in a 20+ page research paper, which we can submit to the college to make into a professional presentation. It's interesting AND mind-numbingly stressful! As Keanu Reeves said in his finest cinematic moment ever, "EXCELLENT!!!"

Add on top of all this the fact that I am still the General Manager of the campus radio station and have to be in the office every day getting shit done and making sure the place doesn't burn to the ground or fall to shit, and the fact that I'll be taking over the morning show duties (6:00 - 8:30 AM), AND my soon-to-be-implemented exercise/diet regimen and that all adds up to one HELL of a workload for the resident Evil One. But I feel I'm up to the challenge, and the Evil One shall prevail! Hey, I'll be writing all this shit in here anyways, right?

I'd love to know what (if any) classes my readers (if any) are taking and extracurricular shit, so if you feel like it, add some to the comments, bitches!

Snapple Pie Update!

Around Thanksgiving, I posted a link to the BevNet website or somesuch referring everyone to gaze upon the wonder that is drinkable pie or, as Snapple named it, Snapple Pie. Well, it's taken a couple months, but I finally found myself a bottle of the stuff driving home on the NY State Thruway. And it is, to say the VERY least, interesting. Imagine this: taking a sip of a slightly cloudy cider-looking beverage and, the very first taste hitting your tongue is a sweet mixture of apples and cinnamon. Then the aftertaste hits and, I shit you not, it tastes like a fucking pie crust. It really is like I took a WalMart apple pie, threw it in a blender, and then poured the shit into a bottle. For one precious moment, I was Violet Beauragard in the Wonka Factory's secret room. Only I'm slightly less bulbous, and not very purple at all.

The drink's not BAD persay, just really fucking weird. I never in my life imagined that one day I would be drinking pie crust, but there you go. Hey, it's GOTTA be better than shitty turkey-flavored soda, right?

Believe the hype. Crave the Snapple Pie.
Willy Wonka, eat your heart out.

HOLY SHIT!!!

I just re-vamped the ENTIRE Evil Blog, now with a new, slightly less-sickening color scheme!! Thank God, because that orange kept reminding me of Cheetoes and vomit.

I hope everything ends up coming out OK. Otherwise, you'll be seeing many more changes in the next couple days...

Evil Brian, OUT.

By the time you read this...

I should FINALLY have a goddamn COMMENTS OPTION!!! W00T!!!!

Big thanks to Fuzzy for posting the website on his blog, without which I would still not have comments or, for that matter, this blog.

This IS About Pulling Together As A Nation...

and doing the DUMBEST GODDAMN THING IN THE WORLD...

New Get Your War On...awesome stuff.


In other news, I am officially tired as fuck. I spent a total of 8 hours in the radio station today painting, putting up posters, and generally making it look as non-shitty as possible. I have to wake up at about 7 AM and drive home to make it back at noon for some bizarre reason. But still, non-shitty radio station = yay Brian!

Oh, and in case you didn't know, The 2003 Fuzzies have been given out HERE. And I agree with almost everything that won. Almost.

That is all.

All Shall Bow Before the TURDUCKEN!

Now, my friend Art has been on a strict no-fast-food diet for 13 days now. So, being the EVIL bastard that I am, I'm going to tempt him with what might possibly be the most insane food substance known to man! And it ISN'T fast food, but I don't think his girlfriend would EVER allow him to eat this. BEHOLD!!

They even dressed it up in a vest made of ribs AND a bowtie and belt made of bacon.
Now THAT'S good eatin'.

GET THE FUCK OFF

KORN IS BETTER THAN EVERYONE SO SHUT UP WITH TALKIN START LISTENING KORN STUPID PIGS!

Sometimes the biggest laughs come from the biggest idiots.

"That's The Smartest Thing I've Heard All Day."

For the first time in my entire life, I'm going to have to go to Toys R Us. Why? To see if they have THIS. If THAT isn't the coolest fucking action figure (in-action figure?) ever, I don't know what is.


GOD, I'm a nerd.


EDIT: I also apologize for not updating as regularly as normal. I've been spending a LOT of time trying to make my radio station look as non-shitty as humanly possible, while also trying to get lots and lots of stuff ready for my upcoming Morning Show on said radio station. I'll update on the condition of all these things as time goes on.

P.S. If anyone knows how to post images on this damn blogger-dealie, feel free to email me: WPNRevilGM@yahoo.com

Thanks!

UPDATE: I went to Toys R Us, Wal-Mart, Target, KB Toys, and EB and NONE of them had ANY Series 13 Simpsons figures. I was shocked when KB Toys didn't have any Simpsons ANYTHING. I may have to buy off the Internet, which is a shame because collectors on the Internet live in another world than you or I. $29.99 for a fucking 8 dollar toy??? Fuck You all.

A Lesson in Patriotism

I was reading the review of the new Iced Earth album (which has very American, patriotic undertones, going so far as starting out with a killer rendition of the Star-Spangled Banner) today on Blabbermouth, when I came upon a comment from a Swedish fan. He sums up, in totality, what I believe Patriotism is, and he does so much more eloquently than you'd expect from a metalhead. This is his comment, unedited. Everyone break out your notebooks and start a-writin':

COMMENT | The reason...

posted by: Jonas

...many europeans get a sour taste from the word "patriotism" is that in the US the meaning of the word seemed to have become the exact opposite of it's true meaning.

People seem to think a patriot is someone who continues to wave the flag and support his government no matter what they do.

In truth, a patriot loves his country so much that he always put's a critical eye to everything that happens in his country, and when a government does something that isn't to his liking he won't stay quiet, he speaks up.

Being a patriot isn't so much about feeling pride in your country as it is about guarding it. And it isn't so much about guarding it against foreign powers as it is guarding it from the people in power within the country.


I must raise a glass of Killian's to this boy. He knows more about patriotism than the majority of Americans.

EVIL BRIAN'S TOP 20+1 ALBUMS OF 2003

Totally based on my personal preference, and probably not indicitive of anybody or anything except for my personal taste (or lack thereof, if you happen to disagree with me). But I still feel like posting it to feel important. So here you go, starting from the +1, and working all the way down to number 1.


Special Notariety +1): Lewis Black – Rules of Enragement (the very funniest comedy album to come out this year, period.)

20.) Panjabi MC – Beware (Nothing if not interesting, the first and only album of Indian music in my collection, it seamlessly mixes traditional Bhangra and American hip-hop…and it rocks)

19.) NOFX – War On Errorism (a punk band that put out a PUNK ALBUM. Anytime an American band puts a picture of the President dressed up as a clown on their album that openly criticizes him, THAT, my friends, is punk rock. Suck on that, New Found Glory!)

18.) Opeth – Damnation (The most beautiful and quiet album I think I’ve ever heard to come from a black metal band. The Gods of Black Metal get all proggy on our asses…and it’s just AMAZING.)

17.) Postal Service – Give Up (all the indie kids creamed over this album, but with good reason. They can call it electro-indie-whatever; it’s new wave and it kicks ass. Good lyrics, catchy beats, gimmie more!)

16.) Longwave – the Strangest Things (Another one of those indie albums, and again, it is completely deserving of the praise. Taking vocals that are a mixture of Coldplay and John McCrea minus the funk, these guys just blew me away.)

15.) Audioslave – Audioslave (I had little to no hope that this band would be anywhere near as good as it turned out to be. The name’s gotta go (Civilian was SO much better) but everything else is PERFECT. Chris Cornell’s voice, though it sounds a little gravelly sometimes, is SPOT ON and can still soar over everything in front of it. Definitely recommended)

14.) Rooney – Rooney (Pop never sounded so….POPPY. A really solid album with really well-written songs. Worth a listen or two)

13.) The Black Keys – thickfreakness (I don’t care if it IS just another example of the white man stealing the black man’s music, these guys are the REAL Blues Brothers. One of the most soulful recordings I’ve heard in years.)

12.) Zwan – Mary Star Of The Sea (Billy Corgan just kinda pulls back a little on the whole crazed artist persona and puts out the most beautiful record since Mellon Collie. The title track is just stunning. I actually almost forgot this came out in 2003.)

11.) Lamb of God – As The Palaces Burn (here’s how good this album is: my brother is a rabid REM/They Might Be Giants fan who dabbles with Metallica and Iron Maiden sometimes. He LOVES this album, he’s been listening to it almost non-stop since I gave him a copy of it. If that isn’t a testament to these American Metal heroes, I dunno what is.)

10.) Eels – Shootenanny! (Without a doubt, the best and most complete Eels album since Electro-shock Blues. Emotional, funny, laid-back, AWESOME.)

9.) Foo Fighters – One By One (Dave Grohl completes the best year and a half in his professional life since Nirvana broke up with the best Foo Fighters album EVER. Every song is memorable and it all ROCKS HARD. The closing song is just about as perfect as a Foos song can get.)

EDIT: I realized right after I included this one that the album came out towards the end of 2002, NOT 2003. Guess what? I'm too lazy to replace it, so it's staying here. It's a kickass album anyways.

8.) Chimaira – The Impossibility of Reason (Chimaira took every shitty metal band like Trapt, Smile Empty Soul, Korn, Linkin Park, etc. and bites their motherfucking heads off! THIS is what metal should sound like: a group of extremely pissed off guys with an amazing amount of technical talent venting all their rage into their music, and coming out with a head-bangin’ ass-kickin’ metal album to end all metal albums. The revolution is here, folks.)

7.) Dream Theater – Train Of Thought (One of the finest metal albums I’ve ever had the pleasure of listening to. I know, they aren’t straight ahead metal, but still, just simply amazing. All I Am is a classic in the making.)

6.) Radiohead – Hail to the Thief (Radiohead takes the experimentation of Amnesiac and mixes it with the pop/rock sensibilities of The Bends to produce the third best album of their careers. Now the weird songs have listenable parts in them, and it honestly DOESN’T sound like an overly pretentious art record. On the contrary, there are quite a few beautiful tracks in here along with some rockers.)

5.) AFI – Sing The Sorrow (This album just came out of NOWHERE to blow me away. Take some of The Cure, strain it through some NOFX, turn up the ambiguity and make the lead singer more girly than mid-80’s Robert Smith and, somehow, EVERYTHING works PERFECTLY. They’ve crafted some of the best pop AND rock songs I’ve heard in a LONG time. Light enough for the girls, dark enough for the guys, it’s just about PERFECT.)

4.) The Blood Brothers – Burn, Piano Island, Burn (Upon my very first listening of this album, I was hooked. I wrote this, and I still hold it to be true: “What would happen if the Sex Pistols and Glassjaw took acid and ecstasy and had an orgy with Mike Patton serving as Ringmaster? THIS ALBUM.” This album forgives Ross Robinson of all his work with Limp Bizkit. Almost the strangest album of 2003, but also one of the most energetic and gorgeous.)

3.) The White Stripes – Elephant (a classic in every sense of the word. Just an awesome all-out rock record. Hard rockin', bluesy, just artsy enough without being annoying, and CATCHY AS FUCK. Believe the hype.)

2.) Outkast – Speakerboxxx/The Love Below (Following up your best and most critically acclaimed album ever with 2 discs of solo work from each member sounds like a recipe for disaster, but Outkast not only made it work, they overclocked the whole thing and made it their bitch. Big Boi is one of the best rappers in the business today and Andre 3000….well, he’s just a fucking batshit insane GENIUS. The funkiest, freshest, coolest and all-out ballsiest release of the entire year. It actually almost pains me to put it in 2nd place, but I gotta be fair and give number one to the one album I had on repeat for about 6 months straight. I gotta give it to…

1.) The Mars Volta – De-Loused In The Comatorium (Where do I even begin? EVERYTHING about this album is insane, borderline-demented and psychedelically bloated, psychotic and FLAWLESS. Very rarely can I find an album where I HAVE to listen to it all the way through. Every song seeps seamlessly into the next, the story unfolds song to song, and every single sound resonates with meaning. Possibly the most original piece of music I have ever listened to in my life, and more than deserving of every single word of praise it is given. Everyone who is a fan of rock music should listen to it at least once, to know what true creativity, originality, talent and insanity sounds like. Praise be to the Volta!)

So there you go, the Very Best Albums of 2003. If you disagree, then you are wrong. Period. There will be more lists, probably. Just give me time to post them.

It's Been Far Too Long...

But then again, I've been a busy little beaver, trucking my ass down to CT and then back up here to Utica, getting fired from Best Buy for going home for Christmas instead of staying here and WORKING (Fuck Them All), a lonely New Years for Evil Brian. Let's recap:

Got some uber-cool stuff for Christmas, including:
Lord of the Rings: Two Towers Extended Edition
Mr. Show Volume 2
Memento Special Edition
Citizen Kane (I just love this movie.)
The Essential Bruce Springsteen
Led Zeppelin - How The West Was Won
A Skull Hat

and other stuff like socks and candy and whatnot, but THIS stuff is what really stands out to me.

Anyways, New Years was boring as hell, but it gave me time to start putting together my year-end lists, which I have been posting right along HERE. I may post them here, just for kicks. But yeah, lots of fun.

Anyways, I'll be posting more and more soon, seeing as how I have all this free time now. And year-end lists most likely will be coming. Until then, check HERE for some ultra-cool year-end lists, AND (soon to come) the nominations for the Annual Fuzzy McAmmies! But for now, I shall leave you with this, which WILL be the single coolest DVD of 2004 until the Return of the King Extended Edition comes out:

BANG BANG!