Tuesday, August 26, 2003
And Texans Wonder Why Everyone Outside of Texas Hates Texas...
Even I think this is self-indulgent and wrong, and I named an Internet blog after myself...
First Chicago and now Texas. I'm just spreading my hate all over the country this week. Texas, you are a bastard. Hey, since they have thier own pledge of allegiance now, can we make them thier own country and get them the hell out of America? Or at least just return them to Mexico. I think we'd all be a little better off that way.
"we are the six nightmares (OH YEAH!) we are the six nightmares (OH YEAH!)"
The Blood Brothers - Six Nightmares at the Pinball Masquerade
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Even I think this is self-indulgent and wrong, and I named an Internet blog after myself...
First Chicago and now Texas. I'm just spreading my hate all over the country this week. Texas, you are a bastard. Hey, since they have thier own pledge of allegiance now, can we make them thier own country and get them the hell out of America? Or at least just return them to Mexico. I think we'd all be a little better off that way.
"we are the six nightmares (OH YEAH!) we are the six nightmares (OH YEAH!)"
The Blood Brothers - Six Nightmares at the Pinball Masquerade
Monday, August 25, 2003
One Down, Hundreds to Go...
I know many other people have already pointed this out, but just in case you missed it, here's something to make you smile:
JAILS Kill Pedophile Priests Dead
Is ANYBODY going to mourn this bastard? I hope to god not, christ he even LOOKS like a creepy pedophlile! Hey, it may sound mean, but this is the type of guy where I wish I believed in a Hell, just so I would know he'd end up someplace he belongs. Then again, that's where he's going. Six feet under, right where he, and all the other fucknut pedophile priests deserve to go. Fuck You, John Geoghan.
But, on a cheery note...
"...I've been waiting for so long, to sing my Teenage Victory Song...WOOOO LORD I'm coming home..."
Weezer - Teenage Victory Song
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I know many other people have already pointed this out, but just in case you missed it, here's something to make you smile:
JAILS Kill Pedophile Priests Dead
Is ANYBODY going to mourn this bastard? I hope to god not, christ he even LOOKS like a creepy pedophlile! Hey, it may sound mean, but this is the type of guy where I wish I believed in a Hell, just so I would know he'd end up someplace he belongs. Then again, that's where he's going. Six feet under, right where he, and all the other fucknut pedophile priests deserve to go. Fuck You, John Geoghan.
But, on a cheery note...
"...I've been waiting for so long, to sing my Teenage Victory Song...WOOOO LORD I'm coming home..."
Weezer - Teenage Victory Song
Saturday, August 23, 2003
Why I hate Chicago
Alright, I kow that musicals aren't for everybody. Generally, they're for the upper crust of society. Not just the upper crust, but the crustiest and upperest upper crust (hey! just like Republicanism and tax cuts!!). Hell, my favorite musical is South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut. But still, just because one movie made it big does NOT mean that America wants musicals on thier TV!!!
Read THIS:
If you read the article, yes, you read that right. MTV presents MTV's Hip Hopera: FAUST. Because we all know how amazing and groundbreaking thier version of Carmen was. Oh wait, I remember, IT WAS A FUCKING DISASTEROUS MESS!!!!! Did ANYBODY watch it?? I didn't think so. This is just one more reason, not just to hate MTV, but to hate Chicago. No, not the musical. The city. Fuck Chicago. Just for having some part in inspiring this horrible, horrible chain of events. That's right, fuck you, Chicago.
"...don't wanna hear about it, every single one's got a story to tell, everyone knows about it, from the Queen of England to the hounds of hell..."
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Alright, I kow that musicals aren't for everybody. Generally, they're for the upper crust of society. Not just the upper crust, but the crustiest and upperest upper crust (hey! just like Republicanism and tax cuts!!). Hell, my favorite musical is South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut. But still, just because one movie made it big does NOT mean that America wants musicals on thier TV!!!
Read THIS:
If you read the article, yes, you read that right. MTV presents MTV's Hip Hopera: FAUST. Because we all know how amazing and groundbreaking thier version of Carmen was. Oh wait, I remember, IT WAS A FUCKING DISASTEROUS MESS!!!!! Did ANYBODY watch it?? I didn't think so. This is just one more reason, not just to hate MTV, but to hate Chicago. No, not the musical. The city. Fuck Chicago. Just for having some part in inspiring this horrible, horrible chain of events. That's right, fuck you, Chicago.
"...don't wanna hear about it, every single one's got a story to tell, everyone knows about it, from the Queen of England to the hounds of hell..."
Thursday, August 21, 2003
Guns Don't Kill People, Crazy People With Guns Kill People
Today, I’m taking this time to actually present something worth reading. Yes, I actually DO have some worthwhile input on topics that are actually relevant to the world. Who would've thought??? With the recent release of Bowling For Columbine on DVD (which I still don’t have enough money to buy, unfortunately), I thought I’d share my thoughts on gun control (touchy subject, yes, but that’s what makes it FUN!)
Now, Bowling For Columbine did an EXCELLENT job outlying how dangerously lenient gun control is (hell, if I was able to get a gun from opening a bank account, I would take the gun and hold up the bank). Now, I understand when conservatives say that gun control laws will only keep guns out of the hands of innocent people trying to protect themselves, and that the “bad guys” will always be able to illegally obtain guns to threaten those innocent people, but I have to ask, how does that pertain to domestic shootings or, for that matter, Columbine-style school shootings? Call me crazy, but I don’t believe that Beavis and Butthead from Littleton, CO were all that innocent, nor did they get assault rifles for their own protection. So that raises the question, how DID they obtain their guns? Despite the fact that this South Park-esque quiet mountain town obviously has a HUGE black market from which to purchase guns illegally ( / sarcasm ), they obtained them LEGALLY. They had no previous arrests or run-ins from the police, and came from a little cul-de-sac in white Midwestern suburbia. So it was perfectly legal for them to obtain DEADLY FUCKING ASSAULT WEAPONS. These weren’t rifles for deer hunting, they weren’t stolen from their Daddy’s unlocked gun closet, they BOUGHT ASSAULT WEAPONS. This just goes to show how disgustingly obsolete and useless these limp-wristed gun control laws are. My solution for this problem? Glad you asked. I would do the following:
1.) Restrict any weapon more powerful than a hunting rifle to only be available to law enforcement officials and the military. I don’t give a shit if criminals can illegally get their hands on them, having more of them in the public can only be detrimental to society. There’s absolutely NO monstertruckin’ reason for ANY civilian to have access to that kind of firepower. Period. End of story. Go cry to Uncle Charlie about it, I’ll be sure to smack him upside his face.
2.) Eliminate background safety checks. They’re useless anyways, and doing this initially would make all the NRA gun nuts out there simultaneously orgasm, and that would be really funny. Instead I’d replace them with…
3.) Mandatory psychological exams. You can never ever be involved in any type of criminal activity, and still be mentally unstable to be in possession of a gun. I think Columbine showed us that. I disagree with the constitution in this one instance: owning a gun is not a RIGHT, it is a PRIVILEDGE, just like being able to drive a car (which is, in essence, a bigger weapon). Quite frankly, I think we should see if someone is mentally stable in order to issue them a WEAPON OF DEATH. And to anyone who says that forcing people to submit themselves to psychological exams is an invasion of privacy, I reiterate that WE ARE ISSUING THESE PEOPLE WEAPONS OF DEATH AND DESTRUCTION. If they want a gun, then we should make sure that they aren’t going to KILL ANYBODY. Guns are made to KILL THINGS, we should make sure that citizens are only going to KILL THE RIGHT THINGS. Writing CERTAIN WORDS in ALL CAPS is FUN. And to help make sure, make people take the exams at least every 2 years. Fuck what they think, this would be for the benefit of EVERYONE.
That is my gun control policy. A little revolutionary and controversial, perhaps, but it would certainly be better than anything we have in use today. Email me all you want in response, it’s the monstertruckin’ TRUTH.
(P.S. if you were wondering why I use the term ‘monstertruckin’’ all the time, try and find the edited version of the Eels’ album “Daisies of the Galaxy”, and you’ll see what I mean.)
“Fat bloody fingers are sucking your soul…..away…..”
UNKLE feat. Thom Yorke – Rabbit in Your Headlights
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Today, I’m taking this time to actually present something worth reading. Yes, I actually DO have some worthwhile input on topics that are actually relevant to the world. Who would've thought??? With the recent release of Bowling For Columbine on DVD (which I still don’t have enough money to buy, unfortunately), I thought I’d share my thoughts on gun control (touchy subject, yes, but that’s what makes it FUN!)
Now, Bowling For Columbine did an EXCELLENT job outlying how dangerously lenient gun control is (hell, if I was able to get a gun from opening a bank account, I would take the gun and hold up the bank). Now, I understand when conservatives say that gun control laws will only keep guns out of the hands of innocent people trying to protect themselves, and that the “bad guys” will always be able to illegally obtain guns to threaten those innocent people, but I have to ask, how does that pertain to domestic shootings or, for that matter, Columbine-style school shootings? Call me crazy, but I don’t believe that Beavis and Butthead from Littleton, CO were all that innocent, nor did they get assault rifles for their own protection. So that raises the question, how DID they obtain their guns? Despite the fact that this South Park-esque quiet mountain town obviously has a HUGE black market from which to purchase guns illegally ( / sarcasm ), they obtained them LEGALLY. They had no previous arrests or run-ins from the police, and came from a little cul-de-sac in white Midwestern suburbia. So it was perfectly legal for them to obtain DEADLY FUCKING ASSAULT WEAPONS. These weren’t rifles for deer hunting, they weren’t stolen from their Daddy’s unlocked gun closet, they BOUGHT ASSAULT WEAPONS. This just goes to show how disgustingly obsolete and useless these limp-wristed gun control laws are. My solution for this problem? Glad you asked. I would do the following:
1.) Restrict any weapon more powerful than a hunting rifle to only be available to law enforcement officials and the military. I don’t give a shit if criminals can illegally get their hands on them, having more of them in the public can only be detrimental to society. There’s absolutely NO monstertruckin’ reason for ANY civilian to have access to that kind of firepower. Period. End of story. Go cry to Uncle Charlie about it, I’ll be sure to smack him upside his face.
2.) Eliminate background safety checks. They’re useless anyways, and doing this initially would make all the NRA gun nuts out there simultaneously orgasm, and that would be really funny. Instead I’d replace them with…
3.) Mandatory psychological exams. You can never ever be involved in any type of criminal activity, and still be mentally unstable to be in possession of a gun. I think Columbine showed us that. I disagree with the constitution in this one instance: owning a gun is not a RIGHT, it is a PRIVILEDGE, just like being able to drive a car (which is, in essence, a bigger weapon). Quite frankly, I think we should see if someone is mentally stable in order to issue them a WEAPON OF DEATH. And to anyone who says that forcing people to submit themselves to psychological exams is an invasion of privacy, I reiterate that WE ARE ISSUING THESE PEOPLE WEAPONS OF DEATH AND DESTRUCTION. If they want a gun, then we should make sure that they aren’t going to KILL ANYBODY. Guns are made to KILL THINGS, we should make sure that citizens are only going to KILL THE RIGHT THINGS. Writing CERTAIN WORDS in ALL CAPS is FUN. And to help make sure, make people take the exams at least every 2 years. Fuck what they think, this would be for the benefit of EVERYONE.
That is my gun control policy. A little revolutionary and controversial, perhaps, but it would certainly be better than anything we have in use today. Email me all you want in response, it’s the monstertruckin’ TRUTH.
(P.S. if you were wondering why I use the term ‘monstertruckin’’ all the time, try and find the edited version of the Eels’ album “Daisies of the Galaxy”, and you’ll see what I mean.)
“Fat bloody fingers are sucking your soul…..away…..”
UNKLE feat. Thom Yorke – Rabbit in Your Headlights
This Just In...Madonna still sucks...
You know, I never, EVER liked Madonna (with the exception of maybe 2 songs, which were more techno-y than anything else), ESPECIALLY her new American Life song. But you know, after the 5 BILLIONTH time listening to it (since they play it once an hour at Best Buy) I think it just might have replaced LFO's "Summergirls" (which, if you haven't heard, you MUST download, just to experience suckiness and mediocrity at it's pinnacle. If they can get a record deal, ANYBODY can get a record deal.)as the absolute WORST SONG I HAVE EVER HEARD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. Don't remember the song, you say? Never heard it, have you? Imagine, if you will Madonna's horribley bad-British-accented voice run through a dozen computer editing programs singing shite like THIS:
"...I'm drinking a Soy latte
I get a double shot
It goes right through my body
And you know
I'm satisfied,
I drive my mini cooper
And I'm feeling super-dooper
Yo they tell I'm a trooper
And you know I'm satisfied
I do yoga and pilates
And the room is full of hotties
So I'm checking out the bodies
And you know I'm satisfied
I'm digging on the isotopes
This metaphysic's shit is dope
And if all this can give me hope
You know I'm satisfied
I got a lawyer and a manager
An agent and a chef
Three nannies, an assistant
And a driver and a jet
A trainer and a butler
And a bodyguard or five
A gardener and a stylist
Do you think I'm satisfied?
I'd like to express my extreme point of view
I'm not Christian and I'm not a Jew
I'm just living out the American dream
And I just realized that nothing Is what it seems..."
All this, of course, against a HORRIBLE techno background striving SO hard to be innovative, but in the end just being really annoying. THAT is what I get to listen to EVERY MONSTERTRUCKIN' HOUR at work. I also get to listen to the new shitty Fleetwood Mac song and some other shite. God, I swear, every time I hear that damn Madonna song, I want to punch the nearest customer, as hard as I possibly can I HATE IT SO MUCH!!!! There are exactly three songs they play that I enjoy; "Minerva" by the Deftones, "Monday Monday Monday" by Tegan and Sara (guilty-pleasure-central) and "Jerk It Out" by The Caesars (which is very jumpy, and borders on new wave/punkish type music. like the Hot Hot Heat). I highly recommend downloading the Jerk It Out song, it's better than you may think it is, Hammer. Anyways, that's my shitty rant in my shitty blog for today.
Oh, one more thing, even when I worked in Wal-Mart, I never met so many people with so few teeth, swear to Ozzy. If Best Buy let me be an in-store dentist, I'd be richer than a Bush twin! Yee-Haw!!! MONEY FOR EVERYONE WHO ISN'T NOT ME!!! :-D
"Clipside of the pinkeye flight / I'm not the percent you think survives / I need sanctuary in the pages of this book..."
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You know, I never, EVER liked Madonna (with the exception of maybe 2 songs, which were more techno-y than anything else), ESPECIALLY her new American Life song. But you know, after the 5 BILLIONTH time listening to it (since they play it once an hour at Best Buy) I think it just might have replaced LFO's "Summergirls" (which, if you haven't heard, you MUST download, just to experience suckiness and mediocrity at it's pinnacle. If they can get a record deal, ANYBODY can get a record deal.)as the absolute WORST SONG I HAVE EVER HEARD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. Don't remember the song, you say? Never heard it, have you? Imagine, if you will Madonna's horribley bad-British-accented voice run through a dozen computer editing programs singing shite like THIS:
"...I'm drinking a Soy latte
I get a double shot
It goes right through my body
And you know
I'm satisfied,
I drive my mini cooper
And I'm feeling super-dooper
Yo they tell I'm a trooper
And you know I'm satisfied
I do yoga and pilates
And the room is full of hotties
So I'm checking out the bodies
And you know I'm satisfied
I'm digging on the isotopes
This metaphysic's shit is dope
And if all this can give me hope
You know I'm satisfied
I got a lawyer and a manager
An agent and a chef
Three nannies, an assistant
And a driver and a jet
A trainer and a butler
And a bodyguard or five
A gardener and a stylist
Do you think I'm satisfied?
I'd like to express my extreme point of view
I'm not Christian and I'm not a Jew
I'm just living out the American dream
And I just realized that nothing Is what it seems..."
All this, of course, against a HORRIBLE techno background striving SO hard to be innovative, but in the end just being really annoying. THAT is what I get to listen to EVERY MONSTERTRUCKIN' HOUR at work. I also get to listen to the new shitty Fleetwood Mac song and some other shite. God, I swear, every time I hear that damn Madonna song, I want to punch the nearest customer, as hard as I possibly can I HATE IT SO MUCH!!!! There are exactly three songs they play that I enjoy; "Minerva" by the Deftones, "Monday Monday Monday" by Tegan and Sara (guilty-pleasure-central) and "Jerk It Out" by The Caesars (which is very jumpy, and borders on new wave/punkish type music. like the Hot Hot Heat). I highly recommend downloading the Jerk It Out song, it's better than you may think it is, Hammer. Anyways, that's my shitty rant in my shitty blog for today.
Oh, one more thing, even when I worked in Wal-Mart, I never met so many people with so few teeth, swear to Ozzy. If Best Buy let me be an in-store dentist, I'd be richer than a Bush twin! Yee-Haw!!! MONEY FOR EVERYONE WHO ISN'T NOT ME!!! :-D
"Clipside of the pinkeye flight / I'm not the percent you think survives / I need sanctuary in the pages of this book..."
Tuesday, August 19, 2003
Nothing To Talk About...
Today was long and tedious. Damn capitalism. I knew I should've just started dealing drugs. Much easier, no taxes, less dangerous than retail, overall, the right choice that I didn't make. But NO, I HAD to have my dental plan, didn't I? Damn you narcissism, you win this time.
All kinds of cool stuff out today that I have absolutely no money for, including Mr. Show 3rd Season and Bowling For Columbine. If you find me another, better documentary than Bowling For Columbine, well, then it was probably done by Michael Moore also. I already have my copy of Alien Ant Farm's new album (thank you, WPNR) and Adema's new album (thank you, Soulseek), so no new music for me. Well, actually, that's pretty much a given, seeing as how I won't have any spending money for at least another 3 weeks (all of next weeks' paycheck is going towards food and rent). Anyways, uhh, well, I guess that's all the unimportant information I have for you right as of now. Oh, and as far as the random quotes I put at the bottom of these posts, well that's just the lyrics to the song I'm listening to as I type these damn things. Usually from the chorus...I know, I'm very unoriginal. Shut up!
Anyways, Insomniac is on, so I must flee. FLEE!!!!!
"Stay away a 1000 days, the days have changed like a decade..."
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Today was long and tedious. Damn capitalism. I knew I should've just started dealing drugs. Much easier, no taxes, less dangerous than retail, overall, the right choice that I didn't make. But NO, I HAD to have my dental plan, didn't I? Damn you narcissism, you win this time.
All kinds of cool stuff out today that I have absolutely no money for, including Mr. Show 3rd Season and Bowling For Columbine. If you find me another, better documentary than Bowling For Columbine, well, then it was probably done by Michael Moore also. I already have my copy of Alien Ant Farm's new album (thank you, WPNR) and Adema's new album (thank you, Soulseek), so no new music for me. Well, actually, that's pretty much a given, seeing as how I won't have any spending money for at least another 3 weeks (all of next weeks' paycheck is going towards food and rent). Anyways, uhh, well, I guess that's all the unimportant information I have for you right as of now. Oh, and as far as the random quotes I put at the bottom of these posts, well that's just the lyrics to the song I'm listening to as I type these damn things. Usually from the chorus...I know, I'm very unoriginal. Shut up!
Anyways, Insomniac is on, so I must flee. FLEE!!!!!
"Stay away a 1000 days, the days have changed like a decade..."
Monday, August 18, 2003
73H 3\/1L 0n3 R37URN5!!!!!!11111oneone!!!
Okay, after a long long LONG time away from my blog, I think I may start writing in it yet again...which, yes, could possibly be considered a GOOD thing.
Anyways, many muchas things have been going on since...JUNE 15??? HOLY SHITE! But yes, I now work at Best Buy which, while not the greatest job in the world, is still a monstertruckin' J-O-B. Besides, I get to talk music to people and get PAID for it. THAT, my friends, is my blue heaven.
Speaking of music, I've been indulging my wierd side of music recently with the Mars Volta (whose new album, I might add, is godly, and possibly the cure for lyme disease, but that has yet to be proven.), Sigur Ros, and Alien Ant Farm (More than just a one-hit-wonder, it's a way of life, Hammer) and.....Joe Budden (hides the shame!). Also been trying to rip all of my CDs onto my hard drive, but that's kinda hard when you've got about a thousand damn CDs to go through. Hey at least the RIAA won't be able to find me (it's called Soulseek, bitches!)
Been hitting all the good and sweet spots of the Internet, including X-Entertainment (ECTO COOLER HAS BEEN REBORN!!!), Real Life Comics (recently celebrating it's 1000th comic by...ummm...having thier server go down?) and, of course, the always, informative Fark.com.
Anyways, as far as recent events go, I survived the blackout here in Utica, NY. It didn't last too long up here, but I was without computer for HOURS, and with me, that's ALMOST forever. ALMOST. Repeating words is fun. FUN. Oh, and by the way, just the friggin' THOUGHT that it might have been terrorism or Al-Quaida or whatever the "Fair and Balanced trademark copyright network" wants you to believe, it wasn't. It abso-fucking-lutely wasn't. Period. Listen to me, for I know all. I am right. This fear-mongering is driving me more crazy than I may have already been. BEEN. Damn you, Fox News. I'll get you yet.
"So I run and hide and tear myself up, start again with a brand new name and eyes that see into infinity....I will disappear"
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Okay, after a long long LONG time away from my blog, I think I may start writing in it yet again...which, yes, could possibly be considered a GOOD thing.
Anyways, many muchas things have been going on since...JUNE 15??? HOLY SHITE! But yes, I now work at Best Buy which, while not the greatest job in the world, is still a monstertruckin' J-O-B. Besides, I get to talk music to people and get PAID for it. THAT, my friends, is my blue heaven.
Speaking of music, I've been indulging my wierd side of music recently with the Mars Volta (whose new album, I might add, is godly, and possibly the cure for lyme disease, but that has yet to be proven.), Sigur Ros, and Alien Ant Farm (More than just a one-hit-wonder, it's a way of life, Hammer) and.....Joe Budden (hides the shame!). Also been trying to rip all of my CDs onto my hard drive, but that's kinda hard when you've got about a thousand damn CDs to go through. Hey at least the RIAA won't be able to find me (it's called Soulseek, bitches!)
Been hitting all the good and sweet spots of the Internet, including X-Entertainment (ECTO COOLER HAS BEEN REBORN!!!), Real Life Comics (recently celebrating it's 1000th comic by...ummm...having thier server go down?) and, of course, the always, informative Fark.com.
Anyways, as far as recent events go, I survived the blackout here in Utica, NY. It didn't last too long up here, but I was without computer for HOURS, and with me, that's ALMOST forever. ALMOST. Repeating words is fun. FUN. Oh, and by the way, just the friggin' THOUGHT that it might have been terrorism or Al-Quaida or whatever the "Fair and Balanced trademark copyright network" wants you to believe, it wasn't. It abso-fucking-lutely wasn't. Period. Listen to me, for I know all. I am right. This fear-mongering is driving me more crazy than I may have already been. BEEN. Damn you, Fox News. I'll get you yet.
"So I run and hide and tear myself up, start again with a brand new name and eyes that see into infinity....I will disappear"
